Extremely Down & Needing Connection

By oregonkj

1 min read

Hi everyone. I'm very new here.

I'm writing this mostly with my eyes closed. I am on day 3 of a migraine. Day 1 was the worst I've experienced in my 20 years of struggling with at least 3-4 migraines a month. Over these years migraines have ruined so much of my social life, tickets to shows, vacations, special moments... have all been canceled or aborted.

Trying everything

I'm feeling really hopeless right now. So far I have tried gabapentin, sumotriptiphan, Fioricet, daily butterbur...sometimes Flexeril and ibuprofen can work, but more rare these days. Not to mention acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, cranio, you name it, I've tried it. I'm 47, periods are starting to change, and the pain is getting even worse. I'm feeling so worried about entering perimenopause...

Mental health, depression, and migraine

I guess I am needing some words of optimism. I have a history of depression and the pain I experienced and was unable to escape for hours this week, brought on thoughts of - is living worth it? I just don't know how much more pain I can take and the thought that they may get worse as I go into menopause... I'm just unsure if I am going to survive.

Can anyone tell me if they are doing something different or have any positive stories that I can glean onto right now?

Share my own story

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Emparra Member
I’m sad that you’re feeling so low. As a migraineur with almost no social life to speak of (does work count?), even being largely introverted, life does get quite lonely. You’re, ironically, not alone in feeling lonesome. I don’t know how interested you might be in this, but there’s a neurostimulator implant that might be worth a look, if nothing else has worked for your migraines. It’s taken mine from a daily chronic migraine that never totally went away, to a low-level headache that spikes every so often instead of every single day. https://www.prweb.com/releases/2014/02/prweb11604574.htm 
1. Melissa Arnold Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="Emparra" user-id="4191553"/> This is really neat! You're fortunate that you were able to have this procedure. 😀 If you're feeling up for it, I think it might be interesting for the community to learn more about what your experience was like before and after having this done. We sometimes have people come here looking for personal experiences with certain treatments. The link is <a href='https://www.migraine.com/stories' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>www.migraine.com/stories</a>. No pressure at all, though! -Melissa, <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>migraine.com</a> team
April.Sluder Moderator
I'm so sorry you have struggled so much. Many women do see an increase during perimenopause, including me. Here's a recent post on our site that discusses using NuvaRing during perimenopause. https://migraine.com/video/nuvaring-perimenopause I hope you find some relief soon. April - <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>Migraine.com</a> Team
oregonkj Member
Thank you Emparra and April.Sluder so much. Last week was the worst ever for me and it scared me. I am looking into a new working dx of Elhers Delos, which is a connective tissue disorder. My friend who is a Naturopath said that if my migraines are vascular in nature that it would be good to look into Prolotherapy as a possible treatment for the back of my head and neck to help heal. This is such an incredible journey of relief and madness. Thank you for your words of support.
1. oregonkj Member
 <inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> Thank you so very much. I am not only humbled by the pain, I am also humbled by the kindness of strangers. I have never really reached out online before, and I am grateful I did in one of my darkest days🙏
2. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="oregonkj" user-id="4208247"/> So glad you found us and chose to reach out. We are here for you, and in this with you, on your toughest days- your good days, and all the days in between. Please stay in touch! Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
Melissa Arnold Community Admin
<inline-mention username="pletcherynr" user-id="3659481"/> Welcome. I'm glad you found us -- I hope the site can be a helpful resource for you and, at the very least, give you a community and the knowledge that you don't have to go through migraine alone. We really do understand what it's like to feel so debilitated. The struggle for hope is real, especially when you've been in pain for so long. It's worth remembering that migraine can change over the course of your life -- that includes frequency, duration and maybe even what triggers them for you. So it's a process of trial and error. A couple questions -- have you ever identified your specific triggers? Hormones, weather, certain foods, etc? Also, are you working with a neurologist? Whenever possible, we encourage our members to try to connect with a certified headache specialist. Not all neuros are experts in migraine, because they treat so many different conditions! But headache specialists do migraine all day long. It's important to let your doctor know any time there's a change in your experience with migraine, especially if it's worse or more frequent. When in doubt, if your usual medications don't work and you're still in pain, it's okay to visit the ER. There are treatments that can be given in a hospital setting to help break a stubborn attack. I want to encourage you to keep going -- this site has taught me there are well over 100 different treatments for migraine, between meds, alternative treatment, therapies, biofeedback ... you can always seek a second opinion. Please know that we are always here to listen and provide support. It might also be worth seeing a counselor -- dealing with any chronic illness is tough! There's no shame in asking for help. Therapy has been an asset for me and many others here. <3 Please take good care of yourself and ask as many questions as you'd like. Sending a hug your way! -Melissa, site moderator
jems Member
Hi Oregonkj I feel your pain and really do empathise - particularly with your "is living worth it" dark day thoughts. As I type, I'm in recovery from yet another hideous mig attack - but it was *shorter* in duration than usual - but I really do know what you mean, the constant threat of reoccurrence. At 44 my periods stopped and I fell through a trap door with my health, plunged into menopause overnight, migraines returned with a vengeance - however this is not the case for all women - some find their migs improve, we're all so different. c.15 years on now. I try and hold some hope of attacks reducing / levelling out and I hope you may be able to as well, KJ? and never stop trying different treatments. That is the hope that one has to hold on - although I know it is wearying - trying this, trying that, for many years. I wonder if any of what I take may help you KJ - obviously we're all different in biochemistry. I'm medication sensitive (and react to certain foods as well) so my system / liver does not like any meds whatsoever. The following seem to have helped me - worth a try if you haven't already - we're all different though. Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin) twice daily - feel this really does "something" Vitamin D Fish Oil Magnesium Citrate Good quality multi-vitamin. Aspirin, Alka Seltzer or paracetamol suppository + bed - during attack. Yoga for neck, trapeze muscles. Acupuncture / Reiki. Inhaling lavender oil when feeling stressed. For me, HRT worsened migs, for other women it helps. Trial and error all the way. I would also like to encourage you to keep going - I am on the same path/journey and know how difficult it can be, there is so much involved in managing one's life / self with migraine with the added complication of shifting hormones - if you feel like it, would be good to speak via personal message . . . Wishing you strength and brighter days, hope to hear from you. J x (Kent, UK) 
1. Melissa Arnold Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="jems" user-id="3768013"/> I couldn't have said it better myself! You covered all the bases, especially regarding the idea that each of us is unique and will respond differently to any treatment. Thanks, Jems, for such a lovely and compassionate post! Glad to have you here with us. 😀 Wishing you a peaceful week. -Melissa, <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>migraine.com</a> team
valerir Member
Hi, I can relate to how difficult living with migraine and depression is. I'm sorry you've had a rough time. You deserve a better quality of life. I had great success with Emgality. Within 2 weeks of administration, my migraines decreased both in pain intensity and frequency. It's been several years and I now get 1 or 2 per month. Having migraines is in itself depressing. However, I did TMS treatments and had a change in my attitude and resiliency. I also stay on sertraline. Try everything you can so you can enjoy life.
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="valerir" user-id="3912884"/> Thank you so much for reaching out with such compassion and kindness. Glad to hear the emgality is making such a difference for you. And yes, the tie between migraine and depression is very real - these comorbid conditions play off one another and can make each one more challenging to navigate. Thank you for sharing the strategies that have helped you. We are grateful you are willing to share your earned wisdom with us so that we may learn from you. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
chrisatphm Member
Hi Oregonkj - I’m sorry you’re feeling so hopeless - I’ve been there, done that too. Nothing worked for me until I went gluten free. My husband (a chemist) figured it out … and in his research learned that a big majority of people sensitive to gluten also suffer from migraines. We tested it for a week and sure enough, it is my biggest food trigger. Other food triggers include cured meats and msg. Eliminating gluten sounds terrible (it’s in everything!) but is much easier these days than in the past. 
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="chrisatphm" user-id="3709803"/> Thanks so much for sharing how removing gluten from your diet helped to decrease your migraine attacks. I've experienced something similar. I'm glad you mentioned gluten sensitivity vs. allergy. I think a lot of people are sensitive to gluten- it can make us feel sluggish or set off a migraine attack. This is different from having celiac disease. An elimination diet, like you describe, can help reveal a sensitivity. Here's some information on how to do one if anyone is interested: <a href='https://migraine.com/living-migraine/elimination-diet-length' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/living-migraine/elimination-diet-length</a>. And I agree, living without gluten is much easier than it sounds these days. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
hitesh-goenka Member
When my migraines intensify, I know from experience that I will feel better in a few hours or days. This is what keeps me going along with my work and hobbies. I have accepted suffering from migraines as just a part of life. If it's there, let it be. I will try to do whatever my body supports me to do. Instead of freaking out on my limitations.
1. Cheryl Picerno Moderator
 @hitesh-goenka that's a really good way of looking at migraine. We know for the most part what we are going to experience so just roll with it until it passes. It's always nice to have medications in our toolbox or other things we can use to ease an attack though! I don't freak out during an attack anymore I treat what I can and move forward! Warmly, Cheryl migraine team member
2. April.Sluder Moderator
 <inline-mention username="hitesh-goenka" user-id="3755282"/> I really appreciate your positive mindset. Pain can really break a person down mentally and make it difficult to remain positive, but mindset is so important. Wishing you a pain-free day. April - <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>Migraine.com</a> Team
Amanda Workman Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="oregonkj" user-id="4208247"/> To start with, I am so glad that you found us. I really hope we are able to show you that you are not alone in this battle. I can understand completely where you are coming from. I have been in your shoes. Sadly, I even considered some crazy thing because I felt overwhelmed by the pain. It helped me to realize that despite being in pain, I had things to live for in this life. What would my dog do without me? Despite how alone the pain can make you feel, can you see how you impact this world? As others have said, make sure your doctor knows about the changes you are dealing with. I know it can seem endless, but there really are new treatments and medications to try and have hope for in the future. Mostly try to remember, you are not alone. We are all here for you. Reach out any time you need us. Sending you lots of hugs - Amanda (team member)