35 years of migraine, glaucoma and cancer, still going on.

My story is the story of someone who always believe they would be better days for me, cause, life cannot be that injust. Today I have lost hope and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if we are meant to share our story to give people's hope for better days but I'm afraid I can't do that cause I am today 51 year old and at the end of my teether.

I started having migraines, well, I don't remember it was such a long time ago, I was a teenager, I particularly watched my mum suffering, without a word, day after day, sitting on her armchair with nobody who understood her, my sister saying she was just lazy, and hiding behind her migraine, this way she wouldn't have anything to do. I didn't think that, I felt sorry for her but I never imagine that it would be my story too, worse.

At the age of 16 years old I had very bad periods, painful and with migraines. By the age of 25, I was diagnosed with endometrisis, stage 3, it then moved onto stage 5 or 6 can't remember, I took so much painkiller, that I don't know if it was for migraine or for endo at that point. I had several surgery, to relieve the chronic pains that endo triggered, the agonizing pain. Could never have any children, I don't care, cause I would have given them my genes and I don't think I could I coped with seeing my children suffer like I have and I'm suffering. By the age of 34 years old, migraines headaches started getting worse, I remember, that I didn't know whether Endo or migraine was making more suffer, I swallowed all sorts of over the counter medication plus some strong stuff with morphine that I was getting from France, I lived and worked in London at the time. I swallowed dozens of pills and worked so hard to make end meets that I now wondered how I managed.

By the age of 40 the migraines had taken over my life. Endo was manageable, but the migraine where horrid, I was prescribed all sorts of medication, betablockers, sibelium DHEA, whatever, nothing worked. Then I discovered the triptans, quickly I took NSAI with Triptan to relieve the headaches, but it was getting worse. Then bang 45 years old I 'm diagnosed with breast cancer. I got treatment for that, surgery, radiotherapy and refused the hormones therapy that they wanted to give me for one reason, it would make my migraines worse, at that point, I couldn't care less. Then let it be. Guess what I survived !!! five years down the line, I'm getting to menopause, and the migraines are ruling my life. In the meantime, I have a nervous breakdown!!!!! was taking to hospital, given anti depressants, more migraines treatment, and then a few month ago, closed angled glaucoma, (the treatment can all cause that), now facing the fantastic prospect to be blind on top of it, I went to a Parisian hospital to ask for help. I was told that migraine is a genetic disease caused by the 8th chromosome to be deficient and that I was born with my migraine and would die with my migraine. I am at home, alone most part of the time cause (friends laughed at the migraine sufferer, it is bound to be in my mind) and I breath oxygen and try not to take too much triptans. Today is the 10th day that I haven't taken a triptan and my migraine didn't live me in peace a day. They might give me a heart attack, who cares really. I'm just going to take one a hope for a day of relief. I really don't know why the cancer didn't kill me but if it comes back I will not treat it.