My life...as told by my Migraines
For as long as I can remember I've suffered from migraines that last for weeks or months at a time.
The worst was my Junior year of High School, while everyone else in my class was looking at colleges I was home with a 7 month long migraine. Thats right 7 long never ending months straight of a consistent migraine. I was told by most of my teachers that I looked fine and there was nothing wrong with me. I was home schooled for 4 months. Doctors tried every type of medication there was and I did multiple hospital visits, one resulting in a few days staying overnight. I had been poked and prodded and for what? For nothing, nothing worked, I was exactly where I started just feeling less hopeful. One day the migraine just magically went away on its own. To this day I have no idea why but I was grateful.
This forever changed my life. I have spent every day since in fear that I would be stuck in the same situation once again. This month marks 10 years since that episode began and I find myself in the same situation. For a while Botox every 2 months helps to prevent me getting a migraine, but no doctor had yet to find anything to help break a migraine once I got trapped in the cycle. Until now I was managing ok, I had set backs and a lot of bumps in the road but I was managing. I finally got to a place where I felt like my fear of another disabling migraine attack was behind me.
Then on September 28, 2017 things changed. I woke up with a migraine and knew almost right away that it had been different from any I've had in years. After 2 weeks of trying to deal with it and push through it, I couldn't even do basic daily functions anymore. I could no longer drive because I was constantly losing my vision. Looking at a computer screen would only make it worse and I was told that from my doctor I needed to go on leave from work. I have yet to return to work.
The worst for me is the brain fog that makes me feel like a 26 yr old with alzheimers. I can barely remember what day it is or where I am. I have lived in the same neighborhood my entire life and last month I got lost going to the doctor. I try and write things down in case I forget if they are important but I can never find it because I forget where I wrote it down. I'm a smart person and to the outside world I just look like a typical dumb blonde with a blank expression on her face.
Everything takes so much effort, as I'm sure every one who suffers from migraines understands. Most people dream of vacations, their future, or winning the lottery (which I would definitely not complain about), and I dream of being able to hear myself think again. This migraine cycle has knocked me sooo far down that I don't see an end of it anymore. And if/when it ends I will most likely no longer have my job that I worked so hard for.
Once again my life has been turned upside down. Every week I go to doctors and do treatments to try and break the cycle but the only thing that's seemed to break is my hope.
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