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Picture Perfect

It’s the beginning of the day, bright and sunny just the way you picture a perfect afternoon. Expect, for me, it’s a picture perfect nightmare. The sun is glaring in, making me squint even harder. The blinds are no match for the sun today. As I wake up, the pain is so overwhelming. It’s almost crippling as I make it to the kitchen, I need to get meds in me ASAP.

As I sit down in the recliner with my hand holding my head, praying for it to stop, the throbbing is unbearable. I lay back for a few minutes hoping the medicine kicks in sooner rather than later. It’s another day at home, under the covers to block out as much sun as possible. As I stumble back to bed to snuggle in with my best bud, I can’t help but think what a nice day like this could have been if I were pain free. It’s exhausting day after day pain on top of pain. This type of tired is no match for the frail, this type of pain makes you a warrior for as long as it can. Then the breakdown, the warrior inside is losing its grip. I feel like I can no longer face it, I feel as if nothing is going to change. There is no cure for this kind of tired. There are no happy days anymore, it’s all picture perfect nightmares and tomorrow it starts all over again.

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