This Strange Beast

It's my day off and I've already lost half of it. I'd planned to spend time with my daughter, later with my friend, maybe go for a bike ride, work on some art. None of that is happening now.

Yesterday I knew today would be a migraine day.

I caught myself looking in the refrigerator for my keys, and I know this is a running joke, but I actually did forget to put on pants- I mean I realized it, but I already had my shoes on by then. Pretty little flashy green lights in my eyes on my way to work. My body hurt everywhere, and I was so very tired despite a full night's sleep. Time slowed for me (something I'm sure my co-workers didn't appreciate), I was late to work, my words didn't work, I took the wraps off my resident's legs, put a slipper sock on one of her feet, then both shoes. She laughed and asked what was wrong with me, I forgot to put her other sock on. At least she laughed.

I made it through work and thought perhaps I'd escaped, but alas, no. As I dragged my way out of the strange brain fog this morning, I realized my disruptive companion was arriving soon. I'd slept 9 1/2 hrs and was still tired. My sinuses where clogged on one side, the pressure painful. My left eye HURT. The eye itself. I could barely see out of it- like looking through thick, ancient glass. A new symptom: the inside of my mouth tickles - wth is that about? While burning pancakes and pouring coffee directly onto my shirt (caffeine osmosis?) instead of bringing it to my mouth, I decided taking one of my precious pills was the only sane course of action.

Migraine number ten this month. It is April 20th. 4 pills left. I made it almost five days this time. At least I don't have to struggle to be useful at work today. I choose gratitude for that, for my family, and for these pills that enable me to write this without losing my stomach from looking at the screen, but it gets tougher each time. It's sunny outside...I hope some time today I get to go out and actually enjoy it. Right now the inside lights alone are too bright. Going to lay down for a few hours in the dark now, and hope for the best.

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