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Dangling at the end of a thin cord

There is that moment, a few seconds actually, when an aura splits my vision, and the dread of what is to come washes over me.

i close me eyes.
open them.
close them.
open them . . . yes, it is an aura. yes, it’s coming.

advil migraine will sometimes stave a debilitating one. if it comes in my sleep though, it is usually too late. and the pain and nausea ensue.

when there is no position to take for relief, the symptoms take me hostage. the panic rises, and the fight to stay calm is frantic . . . that is when i feel like i am dangling at the end of a thin cord, and i can barely hang on.

or, don’t want to hang on–

this is my migraine: the terrifying realization that i can’t live with it, and don’t want to either.

 

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or think you may hurt yourself or others, please seek immediate help by calling 911, visiting the nearest emergency room, or by speaking to a trained professional.

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Comments

  • Sheila
    5 years ago

    I definitely can share your feeling of desperation when you want to rest your head on your pillow and you can’t because the pain is so unbearable that the only thing you want to do is hang yourself in your closet and try to rest a little bit in the dark.

    I really hope you are doing better…and something that I’ve learned in this time that my migraine showed up is that not everybody understands what does it mean to live with a condition like this; so in a way, it is nice to have this kind of support. Feel free to contact me whenever you want =)

  • Tammy Rome
    5 years ago

    Are you doing okay today? It appears, from your story, that you are feeling desperate and out of options. If this is the case, please know that we are all here to support you and help you find better treatment options. We want every migraine patient to have successful treatment! If I can help in any way, please let me know. I have been in the position of feeling hopeless and wanting to give up many times before. While I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, I do have some understanding of how dark and desperate migraines can make you feel. We’ve never met, yet I still care very much about you. Please write back and let me know how you are doing. You can contact me privately if necessary by sending an email to tammyrome@sevenportions.com.

  • Katie M. Golden moderator
    5 years ago

    Msmarguet,
    I’m so glad you are finding comfort in this site. It also sounds like you have a great support system to help you through the rough times, which is so important.

    As I read your story, it evoked so many emotions in me and those feelings of helplessness as you know a new Migraine is forming. It’s nice to be on this site and know that other people have gone through the same thing.

    Like Tammy said, we’re all here for you! Thank you for sharing!
    -Katie

  • msmarguet author
    5 years ago

    hi tammy . . . thank you for reaching out to me. i feel good today! the story i shared is from a few weeks ago. that migraine was a whopper & you know how they linger too. it was one of the worst ones i’ve ever had. i indeed felt hopeless for 3-4 hours, but my husband is sympathetic & always helps me get through them. i told him i feel so much empathy for people who have them everyday– mine are relatively infrequent, so i am lucky in that regard.

    also, i found migraine.com through a twitter search because i wanted to get in touch with other people who understand them. i find such comfort in the connection through the website & the twitter feed . . . keep up the good work & i will also try to help others. ~ms.marguet

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