A very unmerry birthday

I'm 21, and coming up on the celebration of my headache's fifth birthday. I didn't used to describe it as a migraine, they have other associated symptoms generally, but as time has moved on, my headache has grown up too. Just before it's fourth birthday, it gave itself a present and became light sensitive. So, determined to go on with life as per usual, I donned a pair of sunglasses and continued on. After a few weeks, I got used to the odd looks and the questions about whether I was hungover, or pretending to be some form of celebrity. And now, 9 months later, it decides that apparently I'm still getting too much out of life, and throws in constant dizziness. Now, I can't walk without a walking stick to assist with balance, and even then it's difficult.

My life has changed from where I planned. I was going to graduate from school, go to University, study to be a teacher, teach. Instead, I scraped through school, only just made it into University due to some bonus points they gave me, and have since had to drop out due to my health. So I'm doing a distance education certificate, which might become useless if I can't get this dizziness under control.

And now, I'm scared. This is the first time since it started that I've felt like this. A headache that never ends? I can learn to live with that. Light sensitive? I can control that, mostly. Dizziness? I guess I'll probably learn to cope with that too. The thing that really scares me? What's next? Because before, I thought that it was a constant. And now, who knows? Maybe six months from now something else will change? Maybe it'll be the same for another three years before suddenly some crippling new symptom shows up.

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