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We’ll always be migrainuers.

So, I finally got myself on a good abortive medications. No side effects that affect my productivity. No rebound headaches. It actually works the way I want it too, and it’s not addictive. Best news is because of all of this, I can take it when the migraine is coming on rather than wait until it’s an 8 or 10, which allows me to only take 1 instead of 3-5 in a few hours.

However, having this amazing medication plus only getting migraines every few weeks has led me to realize something. I may have a routine, but I’ll always be a migrainuer. They’ll always affect me, even without the symptoms. It’ll always control my life.

I get a migraine ever couple of weeks, but even so they still affect me. The medicine I take affects my skin and scalp, causing me to hold 2 different skin/hair care products. One for when I’m not on my medication, and when for when I’m on it.

I still can’t go out of the house without wondering, if I’ll deal with a smell that triggers it. It’s still impossible to avoid scent triggers. I still deal with that bout of anxiety when I smell something that could be a scent trigger. I’m still cautious every time I drink alcohol or caffeine as that can trigger it if I’m not careful. I still can’t eat heavily processed foods. I still can’t go out to eat much because fatty or greasy foods can trigger it. I’m still aware that if I don’t make the food, I don’t know if they’ll use something that’ll trigger my migraines.

Most importantly, I can’t go out without a five minute process of checking my bag every five seconds for my medicine. Do I have my migraine meds? What about my nausea meds? Is there enough? Is it expired? How long will I plan on being out? What will I be doing? Which bag to I need to bring to fit what I need? Double check. Am I sure I brought it? Triple check once more before I leave. No, it’s not enough. Pack more. Wait… I might need a prescription bottle. I’m going to this place where they’ll look through my things. Unpack it. I need a bigger bag for the prescription bottle. Wait, I forgot to grab the prescription bottle for my nausea meds. Unpack everything, even bigger bag. Will the box get destroyed? I hope not. Wait, I forgot my sunglasses. The bright lights will trigger it. Need another bag. Maybe I won’t need it. It’s been weeks. No, the day I forget will be the day I need it. Ugh.

It’s a process. Even when I don’t get them often. Every time I do anything I have to consider my migraines. Can I go down this aisle? I need it to grab a card. But there’s a person in that aisle. It’s a lady, and females are more likely to wear scents than males. What about her? She looks older, they’re more likely to where the perfumes that trigger my migraines than the younger kids. She looks the type. Plus so has a purse. What’s that made of? Leather? Leather treatments are a trigger. How far in the aisle do I have to go? Maybe I’ll be fine if I don’t have to go into her scent cloud? No, I’d have to pass her. I guess I’ll return when she’s gone. No, her scent will still be there. I have a sensitive nose, I’ll smell it. Maybe I can get it tomorrow…

Even when I don’t experience them for weeks, they control my life. I’m in pain. Should I take pain meds? No, then I can’t take my migraine meds if I have a migraine. What’s worse? This is a lot of pain, I can barely walk. But if I get a migraine I won’t be able to hold down food. I can’t risk taking these pain meds.

It will always be a part of who I am. Even the years where I don’t have them anymore, I’ll be wondering when they’ll return. Worrying, stressing. Even when I don’t have any of the migraine symptoms, they are controlling my life, because if I don’t think of every little detail I will have the symptoms.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Janet
    2 years ago

    I relate 100% to your article and kindly ask if you could share the abortive migraine med that works so well for you…thank you in advance
    With respect
    Janet Jones

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi faeriefate,

    It’s lovely to see you again! I hear you, and you are absolutely not alone. While it’s so difficult to do when there is so much suffering to be had, sometimes we have to try to come to a point of acceptance. That’s a much discussed topic on the site. Tammy has a couple of excellent articles on that list, Radical Acceptance and Another Take on Acceptance, and Kerrie has a wonderful article as well, Acceptance, Not Resignation.

    Acceptance doesn’t have to mean feeling powerless. It can be about understanding certain things exist beyond our control, and the knowledge that there is peace in letting that go. I hope you find some comfort in the articles. Please know you’re never alone and that we’re always here to share support, and send you wishes for peace. We’re glad that you’re here. -Warmly, Donna ( team)

  • faeriefate author
    2 years ago

    Thanks, DonnaFA.

    With a better abortive medication I feel less upset by my migraines. I really liked to come here to cope (and still do). It’s just HARD to bring myself here when I’m feeling better. Seeing my old stories, I hate to think I can go down that road again at the flip of a twitch.

    I’m also too stubborn to just throw everything in the air and accept it too, though. I always think, “If I stick with exactly this routine I’ll be all better.” Which works, usually. My biggest issue is scent triggers, though. Literally anything that has a scent can be a trigger. Most scents are triggers. I can list all of the scents that cause problems, but it’d be easier to list the ones that don’t.

    That in mind, you can’t avoid it. Even my migraine specialist says people will come in with some triggering perfume. Smells are everywhere, you can’t escape them, and they raise hell in my brain.

    This week? The floors are being redone, and the stuff they use to do just about everything in the process is bad. Worst part is, scents can trigger even if I can’t smell it, as I’ve learned a month ago. Which is my problem today. I guess it’s like one of those allergies.

    Maybe one day I’ll give up my stubbornness and accept it, but I think what makes it the hardest is I have a family member that has a autoimmune condition that refuses to gain that acceptance, and being around that as much as I am it’s the kinda of mindset I have for a disability. That mindset of, “I used to be normal. I could walk into a perfume shop and smell every perfume there then huff those scent markers afterwards and not be bothered.” But now I can’t even leave my own apartment (or room today) without problems.

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