For the last 5+ years of my migraine journey, I had a friend by my side who had been a Neuro PA, and was comfortable talking about ideas drugs, symptoms, etc, between doctors visits . We discussed her tumultupus love life, mine, and our respective medical histories and what other options we could try next.
When I came out of my first surgery, she was visiting within a hour.
Tonight, though, I learned what she really thought. She wanted to talk, and I was more than willing, I just couldn’t take the sun or sound of a bistro, so I explained why I’d prefer texts. She proceeded to tell me in quite clearly that I choose to be in pain, I choose to allow life to pass me by, bbq i should just get up and do it and I will be fine (i won’t, I’ll wrap around a tree). That I was selfish for answering her questions about my life if I wasn’t going hear about hers in third (which I was, just didn’t know it requires a move into the sun, driving, etc).
I wonder how long she has been feeling like this? Is it really selfish to answer questions when you cannot be endlessly happy?
I knew there was a reason I don’t tell people about my feelings- no one really wants to know. No one cares. Why even try?