When Big Emotions Are Triggers

By Holly Harding

1 min read

For many of us who live with migraine, crying is a trigger. So is being overly excited or anxious. Even experiencing extreme joy can trigger a migraine for some.

Expressing big feelings without a migraine

How do we let those big emotions out without triggering an attack? In this video, Holly shares some tips on how to let our big feelings out in a way that might spare us from a migraine attack.

How about you?

Do any of these ideas work for you? In the comment section below, let us know what you’ve tried in the past and what does work for you so we can learn from you!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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azreynolds Member
<inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> This is an interesting topic that I guess I've never really thought about before. I know for a fact crying can set off a migraine for me, and unfortunately I love "feel good" movies, so sadly there's always a danger lurking there. But happy or excited? I've never paid attention. I get stress "let down" migraines so I'm fairly good at trying to keep my composure, but some days, yeah, I get really mad and I will pay the price for that. My trick has always been to use my deep breathing and to say over and over "this too shall pass." Because that's one thing in life I've learned, nothing lasts forever so if I can just hang on, it will eventually stop. But your mom's suggestions about thinking "how do my toes feel in these shoes" gave me a big smile. That may be one of those treasured weird ideas that I will always remember just because it's coming in from left field. Sort of like the Elbow Trick for breaking my migraines. My mother-in-law taught that to me and since it's so weird, I remembered it and tried it, and learned...it works! Thanks for another thought provoking article. Hope you're settling in well at the new home. I'm moving forward with my healing process and was finally reduced on my PT visits to only twice a month. Like I said, "This too shall pass" is my mantra. I used it A LOT when I was remodeling our home, surviving another surgery and even while enduring the pain and frustration of relearning my mandolin. It's just a matter of getting to the other side. 😉 
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> So glad to hear from you and get an update as to your progress this summer. I've been wondering how you've been. And yes, this will pass- but it sure does ask us to dig deep, doesn't it? You sound well, overall- and I agree, these various "tricks" and interesting ideas do get stuck in our minds and carry us forward for many years sometimes. Sending you loads of love and comfort. - Holly (migraine.com team).
Amanda Workman Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> I have to agree with other people and say that I like your mom's little statement to get you back into feeling your body. I am probably the world's worst about bottling up my feelings. To the point, I have gone through funerals without crying because I knew once I started, I would not stop and I would have a huge migraine. I am also the worst about getting stress letdown migraines as well. I feel like paying more attention to your body and what it is feeling is a good tip. Along with the tip to keep moving. It is a common tendency to curl up, especially with sad or stressful emotions, and just stay where we think we are safe. Thank you so much for sharing you (and your mom's) tips - Amanda (team member)
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Amanda Workman" user-id="3715820"/> Thanks for the feedback. So glad to hear that these tips might work for you in the future. It can be hard to break out of our cycles and habits, especially ones we've relied on for years with migraine. Let me know if any of them work for you if you try them out. I know I've learned several game-changing tips on this site for which I'm so grateful. I will just add a bit of encouragement to let yourself off the hook in terms of the way you talk about yourself and migraine. You stated above twice that you are the "world's worst" and while you may've been joking - I still think it's wonderful to be extra loving and compassionate to ourselves when it comes to migraine. In reality it sounds to me that you are being tremendously smart in doing your best to protect yourself from extreme pain and complex neurological symptoms. Tamping down your emotions can be such an intelligent move as it can keep you from being hit with a tsunami of a migraine attack. And letdown migraine that can follow stress is not about you doing anything wrong- but rather can be a very normal reaction that many of us experience - and I believe has a lot to do with stress hormones and the rise and fall of cortisol levels following stressful events. I point these things out because I do think we tend to internalize blame for migraine in ways we don't even realize at times which can appear in the way we articulate ourselves when speaking about the disease. If this resonates, take it with you, but if it doesn't work for you, just let it go and continue along. Offered with compassion and care and gratitude to be working with you, Amanda! Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
98116howth Member
Good tips. A regular yoga practice is key to managing my emotions with an emphasis on breathing and walking in the fresh air enjoying nature and saying hi to people. I find reciting poetry also very calming. 
1. Cody Leach Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="98116howth" user-id="3869409"/> I'm happy to hear that you're able to find solace in walking through fresh air and by seeking out nature. I love nature as well, especially walking through the woods. There is something about being surrounded by trees that is soothing for the soul! - Cody (Migraine.com Team Member) 
2. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="98116howth" user-id="3869409"/> Oh- I love these tips. Thank you for offering these to your fellow migraine community members. I'm grateful for the reminder of these holistic approaches which can really fill one's cup. I also reach for walks in nature on a daily basis but can oftentimes forget to focus on my breathing and to incorporate yoga. I agree poetry can be very centering and peace-giving. If you have any poems or favorite prose to share - we invite you to do so here (where you can read the contributions of others, as well): <a href='https://migraine.com/living-migraine/share-good-advice' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/living-migraine/share-good-advice</a>. Grateful for your input. Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
dinamay Member
I used to think it was the crying that triggered my migraines. But now I must conclude it’s the underlying emotion, the anger, the grief, the pain of betrayal. I used to think too of any emotion was a trigger so I tried not to feel. But besides being unsuccessful, I’ve concluded that’s no way to live. So what if a feeling is followed by a migraine? I think a certain amount of time is going to be followed by a migraine regardless of what I do or don’t do, feel or don’t feel, eat or don’t eat. So I’ve decided, migraines are simply a fact of my life. And I’m just going to live my life. When migraines jump up and clobber me, I think, “oh bummer!” But I know it won’t be forever (although it feels like it while it’s going on). Eventually that episode ends and life goes on. It’s a lot easier than it used to be. So, as the song goes, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!”
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="dinamay" user-id="3907903"/> Very wise words here, Dina. Thank you for sharing. And so true. If we find emotions to be a trigger, the answer isn't to stop feeling. It may be to figure out how to manage the feelings to lessen or lower the chances of getting hit as hard. Sort of in the same way as if we find that a certain food can inflame an attack. For many of us, the world is alive with triggers (dairy, gluten, hormones, weather, stress, interruptions in sleep, bright lights, loud sounds, emotions, and on). We can't possibly live in a way that keeps us from experiencing all of those things. It would be impossible and we would be living a very small life. Believe me, I've tried. It doesn't work. So yes, like you, ultimately we must accept migraine - learn to manage and live with and around it. That doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind. I still take great care to try to avoid the triggers I'm aware of, but I also need to have a life, and live my life, as you said. If we said "uncle" and let migraine have complete control over us - we'd certainly have a lot to cry about. There's a balance to be found between managing the condition and embracing what we can out of what life has to offer. It sounds like you are seeking that balance in a very healthy way. Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team. 
2. Peggy Artman Moderator
 <inline-mention username="dinamay" user-id="3907903"/> I can relate to you. I think it is the underlying emotions that cause most of the trouble. When I'm upset, it's hard for me to let it go. But eventually, life has to go on, and I have to cope in a healthy way with the problem. If I stay angry, I'm sure to get a migraine attack. So I try to let things go even though it may be a process. Because of my emotions affecting my migraine disease, I try to stay calm as much as possible. Spending time with positive people helps me a lot. Peggy (Migraine.com team)
wirr Member
I have a huge problem with triggers. I have no. My attacks come at regular intervals. I have often read that it can be difficult to find your triggers. I don't have any stress in my life anymore. I can do just about anything that causes someone else to have a migraine attack. That doesn't work for me. For me, all (exceptions are possible but extremely rare) attacks come every 7 to 14 days. The number of days changes only slowly over many months. I often think it's somehow hormonal. During severe attacks, I get acne on my face within a few hours of the onset, which goes away as it subsides. I haven't found anyone who has reported this. Crying and fear only starts for me after the attack and then stops again as it subsides. I can't watch tragic films then. Then I howl like a dog. But an attack doesn't trigger that. Neither are other emotions. And I really tested a lot of triggers. Food, smells, lighting... I really have no idea.
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="wirr" user-id="3682405"/> Fascinating to hear about your process. The acne thing and time intervals of your attacks do seem to hint at a hormonal component. It sounds as if you're still in process of uncovering your triggers- which also may be evolving over time (making it even more challenging to uncover). We're all so different- I'm not sure any two people have the same set of triggers. So, just because you've not found anyone that reports your particular set of triggers, doesn't mean they're not valid. Thanks so much for sharing- by doing so, you may have validated someone else's set of triggers! Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
macbeck Member
Great tips, Holly, thank you! For me it depends, partly, on what the emotion is. Anger needs to go, so I tend to let myself be and express it as reasonably quickly as possible - drawing it out or hanging on to it only makes things (migraine reaction) worse. Also, by letting it out as soon as possible means I may be able to avoid the reaction at all - 3-5 minutes vs 15-20 minutes makes a huge difference. Positive emotions, such as joy or excitement, I have to express in very short spurts, such as saying "Squee!" and allowing myself to feel the full emotion, but less than a minute. The rest of the time I tamp it down so that others usually don't see it. As with the vast majority of those with chronic illness, I too suffer from depression. Sometimes I don't see the downward spiral starting, but once I do see it I acknowledge it and then try to do something positive, like making someone laugh or at least smile. This builds my self-esteem while not causing an extreme emotion. I look forward to trying your tips as well.
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="macbeck" user-id="3812325"/> These are such helpful insights. Thank you for giving voice to your wisdom so that the rest of us can learn from you. I love the idea of letting these feelings out as quickly as possible to avoid them getting pent up. As I read what you wrote, I was picturing a steam valve- almost like a tea kettle- we have to just let the cap stay open rather than keeping everything stuffed in- building the pressure to a boil. So much better to let it out as soon as it's there. I agree that minutes can make a huge difference. Also totally agree that if we can recognize what's happening in our mood, that can do world's to assist us in the processing of it. Much easier said than done- but a worthy goal! Thanks so much for sharing! Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
CommunityMember693 Member
Very nice presentation! Thank you for sharing your mom's advice. 😊 That was always my dilemma, coming back. 
1. Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember693" user-id="3729092"/> I agree! <inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> does a great job offering tips on dealing with those big emotions we all experience from time to time! How are you doing today? Nancy Harris Bonk, Patient Leader/Moderator <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>Migraine.com</a> Team 
2. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember693" user-id="3729092"/> So glad this worked for you. Thanks for letting me know! I'll tell my mum as well! Glad you're with us. Please stay in touch. Warmly- Holly <a href='https://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.