Feeling guilty
Hey. I’m new here. First i would like to apologize for any misspellings further on - I’m from Denmark, so my English isn’t the best. I have just got a new job and today for the first time I had to call in sick.. only 3 weeks in. I haven’t told my new boss about my diagnosis - I have chronic tension headache and get migraine attacks 2-5 times a week. Now I have scheduled a meeting with my boss so I can talk with her about this. But I always get so guilty, nervous and really bad anxiety.. and this is also when I have to call in sick - it’s I true mental battle for me, to pick up the phone and make the call. Even though my head is exploding, can’t stand up straight and vomiting. I still think people don’t believe me when I say it. Therefore I was wondering if anyone had some tools to cope better with guilt or if someone is experiencing anything like this. I don’t have anybody that really understands me on this - Denmark haven’t got many forums for migraines unless it’s Facebook were you can’t be “anonymous”. Thank you.
Hi Cecilie,
This was always a very difficult part of my working career to navigate. You are doing the right thing by scheduling a meeting and being up front with your manager. First, setting a meeting indicates this is an important subject-not something you or they should take lightly and that you have put thought into your own healthcare. Secondly, when you go for the meeting I suggest you have a few suggestions of what they can expect from you when you have a migraine and how you approach your responsibilities. Let them know you have migraines, but it is a medical condition and you have way you need to handle them, just as someone with asthma would stop to handle their condition. Last, rest assured, given enough time (in my experience) coworkers will get the chance to see for themselves the manifestation of you condition. Don't hide it. They need to know, and you'll likely get some much needed care and concern. Good luck!Thank you for your answer! I had a meeting with my boss today - and it went really well. She was very kind and understanding and made the whole conversation really pleasant.
We came to an understanding with medication and sick days and my time schedule. So no I’m really glad I had the meeting.
Thanks for the support!Thank you for your answer! I had a meeting with my boss today - and it went really well. She was very kind and understanding and made the whole conversation really pleasant.
We came to an understanding with medication and sick days and my time schedule. So now I’m really glad I had the meeting.
Thanks for the support.
Hi Cecilie,
First of all, you have absolutely nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about. Migraines are a disease that you have no control over. I am 50+ and have spent all of my life apologizing or justifying getting sick with migraines, and looking back now, I wish I hadn't done either. People who get cancer don't apologize or feel guilty. People who get the flu don't apologize or feel guilty. People break bones and don't justify that. People get hired into jobs with all types of ailments and you would never expect them to feel guilty about their conditions. If you need help explaining it to your boss, ask your doctor to help by writing a note explaining that you get headaches, or print up some informational articles about what migraine is so your boss will understand. Most importantly, never ever feel guilty about the fact that you suffer from migraines.
ShannonThank you for your answer.
You're so right - never thought about it that way.
I had a meeting with my boss this friday and i went really well. she was very kind - so i had nothing to be worried about.
thank you for the support!
Good morning Cecilie... or rather afternoon now for you. The best advice I can give about talking to your boss is to simply sit down and have a one on one with them. Be honest, they’ll appreciate knowing what’s going on. Once I cleared the air with my boss, I felt as though a weight had been lifted on days I had to call in. Even better, she gave me permission to come in late if I simply needed extra time for the meds to kick in.
So my advice is simply talk with your boss, face to face. See if y’all can come to a compromise?Thank you for your answer! I had a meeting with my boss today - and it went really well. She was very kind and understanding and made the whole conversation really pleasant. She appreciated that I told her so she new what was going on.
Thanks for the support!
