Learning from a mistake - speak up!
Earlier this week, I complained because "no one understood". Now that the migraine subsided (do we ever think rationally when we have one?), I realize that going forth I will speak up. How do "they" know if I don't tell them. "I'm sorry I can't help you clean, run errands, and do dinner, I feel a migraine coming on". I'll be happy to help you another time. I/you can go so far as to say that "you know if I mitigate these symtoms early, I can manage the timeframe much better". (I had that migraine for a week!). Proper care, I can knock it out in a couple days. I try to hard to please. I need serious help in that area. I need to remind myself that by "not pleasing" sometimes I am in fact helping them as they can go about their day, and find alternatives to my help. (Instead of me laying on the floor in pain and almost puking in their car). It is very hard at the time. Easy to say now that I feel good. I think I need to tatoo it on my hand! Just a tad bit of advice as we go along this migraine journey together, thank you for all your support my fellow warriors! -Lisa
This is such good perspective,
, and advice! You're certainly not alone in finding it hard to think rationally in the middle of a migraine attack, but good for you for recognizing that speaking up and "not pleasing" someone is actually helping them too! We appreciate you sharing this realization with the rest of the community here. Sending you gentle hugs! -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member) 
This is a good "note to self" Lisa ... I wonder how you'd feel about it if you return and read it again in the midst of an attack. It's like journaling things to look back on later. 😀 -Melissa, team member
Oh my what an eye opener, reading this during the worst migraine I've had in years. This close from going to ER. Husband no help. I threw up 4 times, and ya know, to him it can't be a migraine..."has to be a bug, hope I don't get it". So comforting, yes I hope you don't get my "contagious" migraine either. Only my son is helpful in his own way, and sometimes I think its just that some people, I don't know how to say it, but am I the only one who can get Ziploc bags out of the basement storage closet. You feel like if you don't at least do one load of laundry a day you will have 6 loads at weeks end. And I think I am the only one who knows how to load a dishwasher. It's like I have to do a weeks worth of prepping for the next migraine, because I know I will be on my own. It's such a vicious circle. I hate how much of the housework falls on your shoulders and how unsympathetic it seems like your husband can be. Goodness, even if it were a bug, I feel like the better response is "Sorry you're sick. Do you need anything?" Basic kindness. Sigh. Hope you're feeling a little better today. Remember that if an attack feels like the worst you've had so far, it's a good idea to go to the ER and let your doctor know. Gentle hugs to you. -Melissa, team member
I totally get where you're coming from. It’s so hard when you feel like you have to keep pushing through everything, even when you're at your lowest. The cycle of doing everything in advance just to try to avoid a migraine’s impact is exhausting. It’s frustrating when those around you don’t understand when you’re in such intense pain and still trying to handle daily tasks. You’re not alone in this, though. I think we all struggle with balancing self-care and responsibilities. It’s okay to take a step back and prioritize your health. I hope you're feeling a little better now, and that you can give yourself permission to rest and let others help more. Take care of yourself!
