Hi Joanna,
I don't habe answers for you. But I saw your post and just wanted to let you know that I saw it and that I hear you, and I'm feeling compassion for you.
As I type this, I'm sitting in my darkened living room. Had to cancel a meeting this morning. Haven't started work today. Dreading going on errands. Waiting for a doctor's return call.
While I can't fix you, just know I'm here and I would be glad to listen.