Migraines Making me Depressed
Hi everyone,
I have been having migraines with aura for the past 5-6 years. I'm turning 36 soon, I also have fibromyalgia, TMJD with osteoarthritis. I hate the surprise which comes, usually when I'm driving or have committed to something and then having to write off my whole week, dealing with postdrome. Sometimes the episodes come in back to back for weeks. I have tried so many things, so many medications, cannabis, botox, lidocaine, massage, night guards, blue light blocking glasses, heat/cold packs etc. I've had a CT scan and its all fine. Every little thing feels so enormous. I have anxiety, no social life and I'm struggling to keep up. My son keeps saying 'mom I don't understand why you are always not feeling good.' I can't think straight, always tired and I feel I have no quality of life. I'm becoming depressed and this is my last hope of reaching out to you guys, that maybe I may find a little hope to carry on.
Coping with migraine disease is one of the hardest things a person can do,
Coupled with other chronic diseases, it may seem impossible. I am glad you found our site - where support abounds. You are not alone in your pain and suffering. We understand how hard it is to live day to day coping with the surprises migraine offers, the weeks it's taken from you, and the anxiety, no social life, and struggle it creates. And, the fatigue and brain fog that comes with this disease are at times crippling.
Stay here a while, read some of our contributor's articles, get some inspiration, feel the support, and know you can return if you need to for help by posting questions, leaving your daily journal of how you are that specific day or commenting on other's struggles left in the wide-open spaces of our site. The knowledge here on our site is plentiful. Sending vibes of strength and healing your way. Rebecca (comm advc) .Thank you for your response, sometimes it is just nice to know you aren't alone. I have started a log to try and track and make some sense out of what could be correlated. Take Care
We all share this hellish pain. It's hard to write an encouraging message sometimes because I can't always cheer myself up, like everyone else who browses this forum I long to reclaim a life where migraines don't exist in my head. I even thought of ending my own life at one point, so I understand how demoralizing and debilitating it can be. But what's even more important than any social life, any thoughts you have of giving up, and any pain you feel is the determination to keep moving forward. Migraines are so uniquely diverse that it makes it impossible for there really to be any solution that works consistently for everyone (of course you already know this). Even if you feel like you've exhausted every option, are ready to give up, or feel lost, tell yourself that you won't give in until your body forces you to. If you give up, you forfeit your determination and replace it with self-pity. I've given up before, I know how it feels, it's the worst feeling imaginable.
Don't let your CT scan showing nothing deter you, as far as I'm aware the CT scan only detects life-threatening stuff like tumors. Think of each drug that doesn't work as a checklist, a step closer to finding one that will work. If you give up too early because you think nothing else will work you're putting a needless end to all the progress you've made so far. Hopefully this post makes you feel a bit better or at the very least motivates you to keep going, always see the bright side to balance out the negative feelings!I'm glad too...let's all choose to stick around until the very end 
I needed to read your words today. Sometimes it is about changing my mindset and looking at my chronic illnesses from a different perspective. Thank you. Shayla (Migraine.com, Team Member)
Thank you so much for your response and for sharing. I have also thought the same, like how much longer can I tolerate it. Dealing with a chronic condition wears one down after a while. I have no social life, it is a struggle to make ends meet, tired and crooked most days, I feel lucky if I get 2 good weeks out of a month. It's like a rollercoaster sometimes...that little bit of relief gives me almost euphoria. So I guess I'll take those good moments. You gave me some perspectives. I guess I am venting my frustration. Take Care
Good Day, thank you for your response, support and the resources, that is always helpful. I can relate to your experience in testing and hoping it was a tumor because it is difficult when you have an 'invisible' illness. It's chronic, ongoing and no clear treatment and I find sometimes you passively put off by some doctors. To answer your question about hardships, I think this is where I have struggled. I feel like I have had no real breakthroughs, I don't understand it some days and I'm mostly angry and melancholic. I'm frustrated that even little things such as folding laundry is painful. 
- So true. Sometimes when we receive the diagnosis of "migraine" it can feel like a life sentence because there is no cure. Because of this, finding a good partnership with a specialist become all the more important. Someone who values our experience and wisdom that we have earned along the way- and someone that does not put us off, as you said. I see that you mentioned below that you are on a waiting list for a specialist and so sorry it is a long one. If things become untenable, you might consider looking into an in-patient pain clinic like I mentioned previously. There are several around the country. I live in NC and traveled to Michigan Headache Neurological Institute for a three week stay for this reason. There are others as well. Here's some information on those: https://migraine.com/forums/inpatient-clinics. Of course they are costly depending on your insurance.
Also, I wanted to respond to what you said about the frustration and upset you feel about the challenges related to doing the simple tasks in life like laundry. It is so hard. You are not alone in this, truly. I have been known to make lists of what I've accomplished in a given day just to give myself a pat on the back. My doctor encouraged me into this daily practice: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/what-did-you-accomplish-today. Sometimes those lists are very short and include things like showering and getting the mail from the mailbox. But for me, keeping a record of days like those has been a good exercise because it helps me see that I am getting at least something done when there are times I feel I've done absolutely nothing. These records also help to show your doctor the level of activity you are capable of- and these can assist with your full evaluation.
Finally, I'm interested in the way you talk about how you feel in relation to migraine. You are using words like angry and frustrated and also melancholic. All such normal feelings. I do find it fascinating because generally, it's helpful to seek a balance between feeling angry and sad about migraine- yet many of us often feel either angry or sad: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/are-you-sad-mad. How would you describe the way you feel most often? Is this something you think about? I used to feel more sad and kind of passive about things which would lead me to feeling stuck, and now I think I am quicker to get angry and frustrated and doing so allows me to feel it and move along. Would love to learn from you on this. Thanks so much for staying in touch! Thinking of you- Holly (migraine.com team).
, thanks for reaching out to us! Sometimes it can seem hopeless when trying multiple treatments and they don't work. I can also understand the fatigue you experience. I struggle with that too with my chronic migraine disease. Do you see a headache specialist or a neurologist? Headache specialists are the best at treating Headache disease. Here is a website that can help you find a Headache specialist. In the meantime, just know that we are here for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing. You are not alone!
Peggy (Migraine.com team)
https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/find-a-doctor/So glad to hear tele-visits are an option you would consider. Yes! Massage is great relief for migraines. Hope it helps manage the pain.
PM&R is pain medicine and rehabilitation specialty (physiatry) - In addition to episodic migraine disease, I have inflammatory arthritis (AS, spondyloarthritis) and need my physical ability assessed every so often. They will be putting in a spinal cord stimulator in the next year. I check in every so often through Telemed, and visit when I have procedures or injections. Rebecca (comm advc)I have never heard of that specialist, interesting, I guess the downside of being isolated here is it takes a while for novel treatments to make its way. I wish you luck with your new treatment. Take Care
