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My 28 yr marriage may be over

I've suffered with migraines on and off all my like but since 2013 I've been in constant pain. I lost my career in 2016 and now migraines have likely destroyed my 28 yr marriage to the most amazing woman I have ever met. My wife has now told me she is done with me. I only have myself to blame because I became a very bitter person and never addressed the mental side of losing my career which makes me feel angry and useless. Not being able to work the financial burden falls completely on my wife. After 35 years working and 28 years of marriage I'm about to be alone, in pain and without anything. I don't know what to do. I am 60 years old. I didn't want my life to be like this. I'm sorry for the sad post.....just needed to vent somewhere. thank you for listening.

  1. No need to be sorry, @frede, we all need a place to vent, and this is a safe space.

    Have you spoken to your doctor about applying for disability ( That could help to alleviate some of the financial strain. Have you sought out counseling? Check through your local United Way, they sponsor counseling centers that work on a sliding scale.

    Please know we're always here when you need to vent, or need some help finding resources. - Warmly, Donna (team member)

    1. thank you for sharing such a sensitive and heartfelt experience. Donna makes some excellent points. This is a safe place to vent and share your experiences. My husband had to step out of his career of 30+ years due in part to chronic migraine and go on social security disability. It was a difficult decision for us to make and the transition left him in a bad place. I had to reenter the workplace after 30 years to help us meet our needs and I was glad to be able to provide that support for him and our family. Counseling is an excellent path to take so that both you and your wife can move forward and heal from this impact together. Being together for 28 years is something to really celebrate and cherish. I'll be praying for you and your wife that there will be restoration and healing within your marriage. Love is worth fighting for. Warmly, Cheryl team

      1. We are so here for you and very grateful you shared so openly here. My marriage of 22 years ended a few years ago and migraine was certainly a factor. I'm 50 and also was sidelined from my career because of the complex neurological condition that is migraine. I wanted to share a few thoughts with you as someone that has "been there." First, would it be possible to connect with a therapist for yourself now? It sounds like you are interested in shifting away from the anger and bitterness regardless of what happens with your marriage. It's so normal to feel those emotions in response to migraine and is also a huge step to feel and see they are no longer working for you. And what about a couples counselor? Do you think your wife would be open to making that attempt? Second, I know it's overwhelming to consider life on your own after so many years connected to someone else. It's a huge transition. It's also possible. And as someone who has just been through it, I can tell you that after I found my footing (which took quite a while), I'm also finding a new kind of happiness that I didn't know before. We are here for you as you move through this tough window of time, no matter the turnout. Please keep in touch. Warmly, Holly ( team).

        1. I'm terribly sorry to hear you are going through such a situation. Chronic illness robs us of so very much in life. *Please seek out a counselor or therapy, begin to focus on yourself and healing, to be healthier and capable of enjoying a relationship with your wife. *Put the effort into achieving better pain relief - pain management, therapies, etc. so you can rise above the "miserableness" of it all, and begin to enjoy being in the present. *Also, apply for disability - you put the time, work, and money into it for 35 years. Reach out, find a lawyer or 3rd party company, and apply. As stated, this will take some of the financial burden off the table. Addressing these issues can make all the difference - wishing you easier moments, stronger love, and greater hope while you travel on this journey. Rebecca (comm advc)

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