Migraines and relationships advice

thank you so much for replying and sharing those
I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate and how to work this forum and what to mention or what can be said
Yesterday I was on about burdening others with my problems and think it's what this boils down too
My partner and I are very much in love we are soul mates till the end no problems there
I've been reading and googling as you do over the years and I've read articles about relationships and sex with migraines and some people benefit and others worsen
I've never really gave it a shot to see how it affects myself but also I don't want to feel a sex pest or just after something to make myself feel better or burden her in anyway as I'm not alone going through this she's going through it with me but also she has her own problems and health issues and we have children and lives outside of ours to think of first so I know that sex isn't at the top of her list of things to do at the moment and I don't want to ask and use migraines as an excuse to get what I want this is where the weird thoughts and thought processing comes in and I've no idea what to do x
Many thanks x

Thank you for being willing to share on a topic that can feel a challenge to raise.

It sounds, from what you've said, that you're unsure whether or not sex may be helpful for your migraine condition. As you said, for some it can be a trigger and for others it can help. As with most challenges related to relationships (and it sounds like you feel you've got a solid foundation) the key comes down to communication. Since you're unclear about whether it may help with your condition, and you're aware and thoughtful about all that's on her plate, it may be worth simply raising the topic in a calm manner that is free of pressure. Just a topic you'd like to explore to talk through together, if she's willing. It seems to me, and I'm no therapist, that you could outline most of what you've said above to her directly with no pressure- and ask for her reflections. You could also, of course, consider engaging a therapist to assist you. I was going to mention this to you on a separate thread actually. Just to say that because of the complexities that arise with migraine, and the way it impacts so many parts of our lives, we do encourage folks to consider engaging a therapist as part of the overall support structure. This doesn't have to be someone you see every week, necessarily- but it could be a terrific resource to find someone with whom you connect on whom you could call when the need arises on various fronts. It seems to me, the intersection between sex and chronic pain - could be a worthy topic to explore with an unbiased professional resource. And perhaps that person could assist you with some ways to approach the subject with your partner. Here are some resources we have on sex/intimacy and migraine: https://migraine.com/search?s=sex. And: https://migraine.com/search?s=intimacy%20.
Hope this is helpful. Warmly - Holly (team member)