caret icon Back to all discussions

Symptoms And Its Outcomes

I am concerned with the symptoms. Others are concerned with the outcomes of my symptoms (in other words, actions).
This is the disparity where the clash happens. We are not on the same page.
What goes on inside me (the symptoms) is something only I feel. Others don’t. It’s invisible to them. No wonder they find my symptoms incredible and hard to digest.
What goes on outside of me (the actions) is something that is evident to others. No wonder it leads many to think that’s what I am. I am only my actions, not my symptoms. My personality is evident from my actions. But they miss the whole picture. My personality is driven by my symptoms. How am I supposed to put this simple fact across without making it sound like I am using my chronic illness as an excuse for let’s say, my irritation for example? How can I expect someone to tolerate my irritation from time to time and ignore it as a derivative of my illness? If this illness is not easy for me, I understand it’s not easy for others to accept as well. This doesn’t give others the right to call me a liar, an exaggerator, a sympathy seeker, an attention seeker, and whatnot.

  1. Thanks for bringing up this topic, . Communicating our inner experience with migraine can be a complex issue, and I think it's reasonable to feel like others in your life may not fully grasp what it's like for you. I know from personal experience that sometimes when I look in the mirror during a migraine, I wonder how I look outwardly so well. When we have radiating pain, nausea, stiffness, and fatigue, it can be disorienting to look perfectly fine on the outside. The only potential solution I have found is sharing my inner experience with those who have earned the right to hear it. The right people in my life accept my feelings for what they are, and they don't challenge them out of disbelief (e.g. you can't be in that much pain, or there's no way you have a migraine again!". The more I express how I feel, the easier it is for them to understand where I'm at. If that resonates with you at all, I do encourage you to check out this article, which talks about removing the mask that we sometimes wear during a migraine:

    Wishing you well, and hope that this information is helpful. - Cody (Team Member)

    1. So many of us are the only ones we know in 'real life" who have this level of disability. This is why, for me, this community means and helps so much- as we can be absolutely real here. So glad you are being real with us. Warmly- Holly team

    2. Completely hear where you are coming from. I hope that this community can be a space where you're able to share your innermost struggles with migraine. So many of us struggle alone unnecessarily. Many times all we need is a listening ear from someone who truly "gets it". - Cody (Team Member)

Please read our rules before posting.