This is a condition - talking from experience
Hi folks,
I'm new here, but just retired. For the past 10 years we blamed my migraines on work stress, the driving in and out of town in the sun, raising children (I have four grown children, two who had alcohol and substance abuse issues, but thank God, are on a good path to recovery now), weddings, but my husband ALWAYS chalked it up to these things, I did too, as a crutch.
I have had days where I wondered if it was worth living. Please reach out here if you feel that way. I have been in some pretty dark places at points in my life.
That said, I've had more migraines in retirement than I did when I was working. It may be due to not having my botox shots anymore (can't afford them but will find a way), but if this has taught me one thing - it is that migraine is a condition. No cure. I can't blame it on this or that, yes I have triggers - if I sat in the sun all day with no sunglasses, that would be my fault.
Just want to say don't let anyone belittle you into "well if you just took Benedryl", or if you just did this or that, you wouldn't get migraines. It's your body, it is the way its wired. People mean well, and some will never understand.
I had the most wonderful conversation with my son last night. He finally understood, like really understood and we had a great talk. After about 10 years, but he "got it", fully. Yes, it takes time.
I'm done searching for "cures", and just taking a better look at lifestyle and management.
What are/is your management routine? I'd love to hear as I have more time now with retirement.
Best to all. Don't give up. I'm here, we are here.
-Lisa
- Whoa! I just got chills reading this! I wasn't planning to be on the site long today- but I had to respond to what you wrote. It sounds like you've really make a beautiful breakthrough in the way you are thinking about migraine - bravo! That is huge.
You are so right. Migraine is a complex neurological condition. It is not a bad headache. It is not caused by your activities. It lives inside of you. Much like diabetes- it is something that has to be managed - left unattended it will flare up when you encounter a trigger. We all have a unique set of triggers that can set it off and as we learn more about the condition, we learn about our triggers. It then falls to us to try our best to avoid these triggers (these are things like bright lights, loud noises, etc). But this list can get tricky when the trigger list starts including things like travel, stress, changes in sleep, food and drink, weather, hormones, and moon cycles. You quickly start to see that there are many triggers that we cannot avoid or control. Even lights, noises, and smells- we cannot always control. And if we did, we would be living in a bubble of confinement. Ironically, many of us end up feeling like we are doing just that.
Ulitmately, all we can do is our best to avoid the avoidable triggers and take care of ourselves when we encounter those triggers that are unavoidable. Ironically, migraine can encourage us to live in very healthy ways because we learn that the best way to prevent a migraine attack (outside of prevention medication) is to eat healthy, prioritize sleep hygiene, and get some semblance of exercise (likely no to low impact). And still- even when we live with such care, we will get hit out of nowhere with an attack every now and then (or maybe every single day!) just to remind us we are not in control of this condition.
You're right that life with migraine is not about finding a cure. That is a wasted exercise of energy none of us has. Instead, it is about managing the disease and self-care. And it is about conversations like the one you had with your son- raising awareness in our loved ones to help them understand what we are truly up against. Having the love and support, rather than criticism and judgment, of those around us can do worlds as we navigate life with migraine. It can be a hard journey- so finding others to help you through it is key.
You turning outward to offer yourself as a source of support to others is utterly beautiful to behold. Thank you, Lisa. A hearty welcome to our community! Warmly - Holly (team member)
