Vent warning: How does my family really feel...
Wow...after pushing myself through a migraine day (husband sanded and varnished kitchen floors, was stinky), had problems with one son, the other son had bought tickets that evening for a great fancy show, so we went to dinner, its subzero here, then the show...before and during which my husband proceeded to get drunk. I had to drive home...which I don't like doing with my vision, but...husband let his inhibitions down and let loose on how he really feels. He even said in front of our son "your mother is no fun". Son came to my defense, but it hurt. Then on the way home, just us two, he really let loose. Would like a divorce because I am no fun, don't drink, etc. Round and round we go. One minute loving and caring, the next...true feelings. Besides ruining a great show by being embarassing by being loud (people actually complained to me), he slurred "why should you you listen to them". It's too bad he can't have fun being sober. I can! His loss, but it hurts. Just venting, I've tried counseling. Not sure what the next step is. I have anxiety when it comes to doing anything with him, especially if it's with other people, he will drink. All our children stick up for him and think it's funny. My son says I have migraines because I don't exercise enough. All the other kids chime in with the same, either its because I drank that diet coke, or I'm probaby taking too many vitamins. Always my fault. Not that I'd been up since 3am with digestive issues, it's subzero, bright and sunny, so ya...I'm a little worn out and that brings on a migraine, especially with dust and varnish coming from the kitchen. Recipe for disaster. But, no, it must be something I did myself, and it's perfectly fine for Dad to release stress by drinking....hello kids? I feel so alone. So very, very alone. So thanks for being here and letting me vent. Its not a good feeling when you feel like maybe they would be better without me, they could have more fun. Not a pity party, just disappointed and feel so alone. I'm on a bad place. -Lisa
Oh, Lisa, you are going through way too much with your family, my friend. 🙁 My heart hurts for you. I wish that they could be a fly on the wall in places like this just for a few minutes, to hear how much migraine can really take from a person, and how similar so many people's stories are to yours ... Ugh. Forgive me if I've asked before -- are you happy with your doctor? Has anyone ever been with you to an appointment? I wonder if it would make a difference to hear from a "professional" that is is absolutely not your fault and you're not weak, whiny, or having a good time dealing with this.
I know we've sent you articles in the past, so I won't do that today. I would urge you to consider counseling, if only for yourself, to have a safe and private place to express your feelings and decide what to do next, especially if your husband's drinking escalates. We are here for you 100%, you know that. There is a whole community here that believes you and stands beside you.
Hope you can get some rest away from the varnish fumes (yuck!). Hugs to you. -Melissa, team memberThank you so much. Just having your support means alot. It's like my family are all ganging up on me, my one son sends me articles on how to be healthy and "run my migraine away", the others just snicker or ignore me, and my husband, I know he would leave me but is afraid the kids would think he was a louse. They were so good for awhile, but when the going gets tough, they don't want much to do with it. No insurance right now, have to wait until I get on Medicare. (5 years) I just have catastrophic insurance. Thanks for the verbal hug, it really helps. It will get better, hopefully just a rough patch. 
Hi
- I'm so glad to hear that you have our community as a source of support. I can absolutely understand how all of these stressors are impacting your migraines and making it harder to function each day.
I wonder if a migraine support group would help you feel more supported and understood? A variety of organizations offer them, such as Miles for Migraine. As far as I remember, they are free. Something to consider if therapy/professional help feels out of reach!
Sending healing vibes your way, - Cody (Team Member)
