What have you given up due to chronic migraine?
Happy Monday - today, fingers crossed, slight headache but no migraine. I know to take it easy today, I've finally caught on. That said...when I feel good, I used to be on cloud 9...and oh, I'll do this, that and the other thing, and sure! I'll volunteer for this, that and the other thing too. How things have changed. I'm down to basics. Since I was forced into retirement, I can take better care of myself, but the downside is everyone saying oh, you are retired, you can do this, that and the other thing. No. I've given up my Daughters of the American Revolution group, and any social activities other than family. And even that has gotten down to basics. Holidays aren't the extravaganza they used to be, however we actually have more fun that way. I can't take long drives with my husband, which I miss. I can't travel by car well so don't visit cousins like I would like to. However, I have alot of blessings, including this group. I pass on spicy food, or bring my own plain food for a pizza night. Please remember you aren't any good to anyone else unless you are good to yourself first. The best metophorical image I have is when you are on the plane and they tell you to put YOUR oxygen mask on first or you won't be able to help anyone else. And my purpose in life? It got me down alot with chronic migraine as I felt useless, and my employer made me feel very useless. But maybe my purpose is just to "be there" for my family. Four grown children know I'm in their corner, even if I'm hanging upside down in my dark closet (yes, we have come to the point of calling my migraines "vampire days", Mom is hanging upside down in her closet), you just as well laugh as cry. We all know, that is not easy though. I'm picking up a book on ACT therapy from the library today! Thanks to this forum, I'm educating myself so much more. I hope you are too - this forum is a blessing! I'm thinking of those of you that are in pain today and praying for you. Much love and care to all of you - Lisa
Aren't you wonderful? We are so blessed to have you with us sharing your well-earned wisdom and lessons learned. I love hearing how you've figured out the importance of pacing and prioritizing yourself so that you can better be there for others. There is a lot to the saying "I'm a human being, not a human doing." Right? Our society places so much emphasis on the doing - the output. When there's so much goodness in the being. How we love one another - and are there for each other. Being medically forced to retire is a shock. It takes a while to find our footing and redefine our sense of worth. But, you know, I think everyone struggles with the question of worth and impact. No matter if they are working a full-time job or not. How many times have we heard the stories that people on their deathbed never wish they had more time at work.
It sounds like you are on a wondrous journey of discovery and learning with your eyes wide open. Being fully there for your family is HUGE. Being fully there for yourself is beautiful!
I haven't heard of ACT therapy so I hope you'll circle back and fill us in about what you learn on that front. I agree that this community is deeply fortifying - a healthy, thought-provoking, positive focus in the midst of navigating life with a demanding chronic pain condition. So glad you are with us to share - to lead - to learn from and alongside. Loved your post this morning! What an uplift! Warmly - Holly (team member)
So glad to hear that you were able to find this resource. I've also read "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris, which may be another great book if you're looking for more info on ACT. He breaks it all down into bite size chunks and tells you how you can apply each part of it to your own life. Personally, I found it incredibly helpful in my general life and being able to cope with migraine symptoms.
Best,
- Cody (Team Member)Thank you so much for sharing this resource and I'd be grateful if you could circle back with anything you learn from it. Sounds very relevant! Warmly - Holly (team member)
A lot of extra stuff in general. I just don't travel much outside of work and general life needs. I don't go out much on the weekend anymore.
hi again!! I do get it. I also do not travel much anymore. I travel, lol, to appointments weekly. I have to smile about it. I am sorry that life is different for you. I think many here can relate. I hope that you take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Feel free to reach out to us here, anytime. Have a restful night. (Tonya, team member).
I just wanted to say that you matter. I know how it feels to not be that person you used to be. Like you said, you are blessed. We are so tough on ourselves. I get it. I used to travel a lot. I was even in the military. Today....I am on iv nutrition with multiple rare diseases. I have a nurse that comes once a week. But...know that I still feel like I have a purpose. I wanted to share my recent article with you. I hope you find it helpful: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/who-am-i
Remember that this community is here for you. Hang in there!! (Tonya, team member)."As my kids age, I still think of them as my heartbeats." THANK YOU Some days, it's all that keeps me going. Truly, they are all I ever wanted. They love me if I order pizza, or make something homemade when I'm feeling good. On my worst, very worst days, I push on (not through anymore), as I've been learning to put my foot down (at 59, folks, please do this sooner), that I'm here, but maybe I can't go out for dinner right now because I have a migraine, and that's ok. It really has been a lot of life changes for me this past year, so thank you all so much for your support. Baby steps!
Proud of you! Be gentle with yourself -- it can take a loooong time to unlearn old patterns of thinking and behaving. It doesn't matter how old you are. The important thing is that you have stepped up and are loving yourself more now. And how fortunate that your kids know and feel your love. Clearly you have been a good mom even with migraine ...and "being a good mom" isn't defined by how much you do or how many meals you cook. You're on a great track, Lisa. Keep going! -Melissa, team member
