My Migraine Advocate and Best Friend

Migraine attacks can be strange and difficult-to-describe experiences, both debilitating and frightening. Luckily, I have a friend who always gets it. You may have seen an article by Amanda Workman about her friend and migraine advocate: me! I want to acknowledge that the support is mutual.

Meeting another person with chronic migraine

We met online and bonded over shared experiences living with migraine. Since we're in different parts of the country, we became long-distance friends, and shared medications tried, doctors seen, attack symptoms, pain, suffering, joy, and small moments of our everyday lives. We also shared food and pet pictures — lots of them.

At one point, I had the ability to visit (and eat all the local food and pet her dogs!) and give her a hug in person. Though we haven’t been able to get together since, our bond hasn’t broken.

Learning to advocate for a friend

One thing I learned is when to advocate and when to simply make space for the other person. I am not here to “fix” anything, I am here for support — whether that be emotional support, helping get together notes for a doctor’s visit, or simply being someone who understands.

Amanda’s advocacy for me

When my migraine pain moved beyond my head and neck to be widespread over my body, she encouraged me to be checked for fibromyalgia. When I had unwanted weight loss from migraine-related stomach issues, she gave me smoothie recipes to ease my sore stomach and make sure I was getting the calories I needed. To this day, I have a friend to confide in if I have a bad day or need advice.

Our friendship goes beyond migraine

We can literally talk about anything. Though Amanda has no children of her own, she is a bonus-mom and auntie to several littles in her life and has a motherly demeanor about her. She’s not afraid to use tough love to tell me I need to take time for self-care. She is also a wonderful sounding board ever since I had a child of my own and doesn’t tire of the kid photos I send her way — though we still share pet and food photos, of course!

These days, migraine or not, I know I have a friend who will always be there. That’s something the pain and disability of migraine will never steal.