A Day In The Life

Another migraine day, another passive-aggressive text from a boss who just doesn't get it, and let's be honest, he doesn't really want to.

To him, pain is weakness. To him, I am weak.

Some days, I think I'd like to see him handle the amount of pain that I do with my chronic migraine. Then I remember that I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Well, maybe for 15 minutes. LOL. This was my attempt at explaining what it feels like to be me for a minute:

I am a CHRONIC MIGRAINE sufferer. Today, I have a particularly bad migraine, and have stayed home from work. This is what it feels like: I am in my bedroom, that I like to call “the cave” because I have tried to block out every speck of light with dark curtains, and black film on the windows; but still, tiny shards of light creep through somehow. Tiny slivers of light that feel as bright as the lights on Broadway, or the bright sun of the Sahara desert. These tiny shards of light feel like they are stabbing my right eye with all the broken glass from a Die Hard movie. Over and over again!

It is springtime, and the beautiful sounds of birds chirping is grating in my ears as though those birds were on the inside of my head! Chirping and chirping their incessant song as if their lives depend on hurting me again and again!! The children in my new townhouse neighborhood are on spring break, and I can only guess that there are 867,491 of them in the courtyard below my bedroom window.

These children sound as if they are starving, and someone has brought one packet of fruit snacks out for them all to share, and there is mayhem ensuing nonstop! It is also garbage day, I have never heard trucks screech and bang and, I don’t even know what the other noises are, but they sound as if they are having an impromptu demolition derby in the alleyway behind my home! Alexa is even in on the fun, as apparently an Amazon package has been delivered, and now her blue and green lights are dancing around in a circle even after I close my eyes!!

Speaking of closing my eyes, every time I do I have strange shapes darting at me or doing some sort of crazy dance that makes me so nauseous that I feel like I just got off the tilt-a-whirl! Well, I kinda feel like that anyway, especially if I’m stupid enough to try and stand up! Don’t even get me started on the smells, phantom and real. My sweet dog lays next to me, and although she just had a bath 2 days ago, all I can smell is dog pee and that awful wet-dog smell. She hasn't peed on the bed, and she isn't wet, and in an hour or two, I'll be able to bury my nose in her fur and smell nothing, but right now, it is overwhelming!

Add to this, the constant pain in my right temple that reaches all the way around my head and down into my neck and shoulders! This is no dull pain, but a constant icepick to the temple kind of pain that makes it difficult not to scream out or cry, but I know better! That will just make the pain worse! I would imagine I lost most people after the first few sentences, and that’s ok. For some reason this was in my head, and I had to get it out! Maybe now the migraine will leave me alone!

I’ve been suffering from migraines for 20+ years. For some reason they have ramped up recently. I have been to many doctors and specialists, and tried every available remedy out there! Please don't try and tell me what worked for your brother's father-in-law's coworker's friend, because it just makes me feel even worse. Thank you for caring.

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