Migraine My Friend

I had my first migraine when I was 9 years old. We lived on a 250-acre farm. My family was hosting a large party although I cannot remember why. What I do remember was my mother walking into our sunroom and saw me banging my head on the wall. I just wanted the pain to go away. My mother, a nurse, asked what I was doing and I told her my head hurt so bad that I wanted to stop the throbbing. She told me I was having a migraine and gave me a pain pill she took when she had an attack.

About that same time, I would experience attacks when my arm or leg—sometimes both—would not work. Once at school, my teacher would not answer me when I tried to tell her something was wrong because you had to raise your hand to be responded to. I got out of my seat and began crawling to the principal's office. My father drove a bus for the school district and just happened to be at the school; he and the principal got to me when I was halfway to the office. (My teacher had called the office.) The doctor at the time dismissed it as just "growing pains.

Managing symptoms through early adulthood

After that day, I remember that the migraines I was having were worse during my menstrual cycle. I would also faint often during that time. I experienced the migraines once or twice a month, and they lasted about 4 to 6 hours.

In my late twenties, I attended a local college and got my teaching degree. By then, I had learned I had to just push through them and tell everyone I was okay. I was even able to work with a migraine. Once in a while, if I was using the overhead projector, I would wear my sunglasses to deal with the bright light.

The challenge of chronic migraine and comorbidities

I pushed through twenty-two years of teaching while being diagnosed with a multitude of other issues, such as, diabetes, fibromyalgia, Raynoud's syndrome, neurocardiogenic syncope, and hypothyroidism. I would faint with no warning, so my cardiologist diagnosed me with NFS, and I had a pacemaker put in to prevent me from fainting.

My cardiologist said that I had autonomic central nervous disorder. Meaning the things my body is supposed to do without me telling it to, it was not doing. These are just a few of the conditions; I have been diagnosed with many, many more. After 22 years of teaching, I had to go on disability retirement as my migraines became a daily occurrence. Some days I was bedridden; other days I would put my "okay face" on. My other health issues became a huge burden as well.

Finding a turning point in treatment

My life dramatically changed. I had no idea who I was and what I was supposed to do. I was lost. I had already tried 75 to 80 percent of the medications available for migraine. During this time, my husband had been on disability for five years already. We began having problems, and I moved to live with my oldest son and his wife and kids.

Ten years later, I find myself married, living apart, and trying to survive. I finally began Vyepti, an IV infusion medication. It has helped some. I still have 20 to 25 migraine days, but they are not as intense. I find that a reason to celebrate.

Finding peace through the stages of grief

I wrote a poem about my experience with migraine disease:

Migraine
Migraine spares no effort,
It is sure it is my friend, my companion.
Generations have mourned their gloomy lives.
Rueful it cannot be.
Anxiety and excruciating agony it brings to torment its friend.
Insufferable, harrowing are the migraines friend,
Necessary it is not.
Exacting migraines’ misery consumes me.

“Migraine is not my friend.”

This is where my story stands. I have been through the stages of grief. Now I am at acceptance for where my life is at this moment. Not tomorrow, or yesterday—just today for this present moment! Thank you for reading my story. I tried to keep it short. Quite frankly I tire of telling every detail, so this is me NOW!