The Pain Goes On And So Do I


I have never really posted places about my experience with chronic migraines so, bear with me... Maybe some of you can relate.

Growing up with migraine

My name is Rae, I’m 29 years old and I can’t remember the last time I have been pain-free. Since I was a young child, I was always prone to migraines. I’m told it’s genetic, passed down through my mom and my Mom’s mom, and so on. It took until the age of 16 for a doctor, or a neurologist to believe that I was in agony during my episodes.

As a child, they would always think I was exaggerating or wanted attention. The neurologist started attempting to treat my migraines with different medications and to be honest, it was so long ago and there were so many attempts I can barely remember what I tried. It was to no avail, thankfully the episodes were mostly manageable.

Near death experience

In September 2012 I had a very serious accident. I was in a chemical explosion at my workplace, I was blown into a railing and inhaled H2S (otherwise known as Hydrogen Sulphide). A couple of coworkers found me; unconscious, approximately an hour and a half after the explosion happened.

What follows is what I have been told: I was rushed to the hospital, they admitted me and immediately began working on my body. My mother; accompanied by my grandmother and a coworker, arrived shortly afterward. Initially, they refused to allow my mom to see me due to how bad of a shape I was in and they didn’t want her to watch me die but she wanted to be with me so they allowed it.

I was in a coma

They worked hard to put in an IV, a breathing tube, a catheter and placed some other contraptions that monitor my vitals. By the time my father, sister arrived, they were ready to tell my mom and dad that I would not be waking up from the coma I was in. They explained that I had inhaled too much H2S, couldn’t breathe on my own and that visitors are not a good idea because my heart could fail at any time. For three days, they waited. Half a day later; to the surprise of everyone, I woke up.

Migraine symptoms getting worse

Six weeks of walking with a walker due to disorientation, 2 years of psychotherapy, night terrors, short-term memory issues, and tons of effort ensured that I was able to walk, and mostly be who I was... Or so I thought.

My migraines; well my migraine, has not gone away and it has only worsened with time. Having tried Botox, multiple types of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications, nothing has helped. I have severe and almost constant nausea, light and sensory sensitivity (loud places are like an overload to my brain), confusion/disorientation, dizziness, joint and muscle aches, fatigue, and mood fluctuations. But, this is on a good day.

Pain and disorientation

On a bad day, my skin feels likes it’s being flayed if someone touches me, I can’t even keep water down, my vision goes black if I stand up, my pain is even more excruciating than before, I have trouble speaking and understanding, sometimes even my teeth hurt. Every noise, every smell is heightened and painful and I mostly wish I would keel over and die (I know, that is a horrible thought).

Currently, the new med I am trying is duloxetine. It was horrendous at the start (constant vomiting and disorientation) and hasn’t helped yet but, maybe it will around the two-month mark.

Staying hopeful

Have I discovered a treatment that works for me as of yet? No, I have not. Have I managed to push through the pain and tried to live a little bit of a life? Yes, I have. While I keep searching for a treatment that makes life even a little bit more bearable, I haven’t lost hope.

All of your guys’ stories make me see that maybe one day, I’ll have a little bit of normalcy. So for that, thank you. For those who are also still struggling to find something that works, keep trying. Don’t give up. There will be something that works for each one of us at one point or another in our lives. Thanks for listening, sorry if this story was too long.

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