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That's what my boss told me two days ago. He's not the first person to tell me that and he's probably not the last who will say something along those same lines to me. All I could do is stand there leaning against the counter in the office wringing my hands in frustration. He, like others before him just doesn't seem to get that there is no just "getting well". Despite all the treatments I can try and all the medicines I can take, I may never "get well".

He's upset at me because I had to call out two days in a row for a really bad migraine. Never mind the fact that I had just worked almost six days straight in continuous pain. He doesn't seem to understand that I live almost every single day of my life with my ears ringing and feeling like my head is in a vice. Sometimes the vice is a LOT tighter than others and there's a number of other symptoms that accompany the pain. I wear sunglasses at work because I'm sensitive to light, particularly the fluorescent lights at the store. I'm sensitive to sound, different pitches or types of sound effecting me more than others. Scents are a major trigger. Nausea and dizziness are common for me. I get auras and blurriness of vision. Lately, I've had trouble with aphasia.

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He almost sounds like he's concerned for me. I think he genuinely likes me as a person. But I know his main concern is for the business. I know that my frequent absences aren't good for business, but I have to work when I can for as long as I can. I have bills to pay. That's the other reason he's upset. I'm applying for FMLA to protect my job for the time being and my health benefits, because if I don't have my health benefits I can't afford treatment, at all. He feels like I've dumped this on him, although I told him months ago that I was planning to apply for it. I have to do what I have to do. Especially when he does petty crap like take away most of my hours for the coming week because I had to call out.

When I transferred to this store, he was warned by my previous Manager and by me that I have a chronic illness that could result in frequent absences. I'm doing the best I can, damnit, but there's only so much I can do!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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