I've been a migraine sufferer for almost two decades now, and in some ways, I'm doing better than I ever have with this disease. I get Botox every three months, go to a chiropractor once a week, have incorporated exercise into my daily routine, and have a great medication on hand at all times. But now I'm dealing with something I never really had before -- something I refer to as "migraine shame."
Dealing with shame
I now strangely feel like I'm disappointing people -- my husband, family, friends, DOCTORS -- when I get a migraine now. It's like everyone in my life thinks my chronic condition has magically disappeared, so they make a huge deal when I still experience the crippling pain of a migraine.
I wake up with a horrible migraine, and my family asks "how come?? what happened?" I go to the chiropractor, and after weeks of telling them I've been feeling good, I eventually have to let them know I've had a bad week. They ask, "Why??? Do anything different??" -- insinuating I must have done something wrong.
Hiding migraine out of guilt
What's happened now is that I'm starting to hide my migraines because of the shame. I feel guilty when I get them, I feel like I did something wrong, or like I'm letting down all the people who help me to feel better. After suffering from crippling pain on a Monday, I tell my chiropractor on Wednesday, "nope, I've been good!" when he asks, "any headaches this week?".
Anyone else experience migraine shame?
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