Last updated: August 2023
I am the sole soul who needs to take care of the triggers around me. I can’t ask anyone else to remember my triggers and behave accordingly. I shouldn’t expect this. Others shouldn’t have the additional task of remembering my triggers and recalling such information every time we meet in order to limit my triggers. For me, it’s a lifestyle, it’s necessary. It’s not a choice but a necessity. For them, it’s a compromise and I can’t expect compromise from their side. From the same point of view, if I compromise for their sake, enhanced suffering will come my way. What will come their way? Some discomfort... uneasiness.
Compromising for those who don't have migraine
I have compromised a lot in the first two decades of my life and it turned out to be daytime nightmares for me. I continued the compromise (to a lesser extent) for another decade. What I found out during the first three decades of my life was that what was a big deal to me wasn’t one for others. I was the one who ended up listening to the music. I had to bear the symptoms, not others. The kind of experiences I had with others, I don’t wish to compromise anymore. Why should I? I am the one who’s affected from hair to toe.
Asking for company with migraine
If I ask for company, I am likely to feel the pressure of having a lot of man-cooked food which will affect my digestion and trigger multiple symptoms just like it did yesterday evening. Throughout the evening, I had processed food and within a few hours, I met with a flare-up. Now, I did this to myself when I was not having company. It was my input that led to the outcome in terms of a big flare-up. Something like this happened all the time when I had company in life. It was mostly due to the compromise in accompanying…
If I ask for company and let them know about my condition and the symptoms, a big discussion will ensue on health, fitness, doctors, and medicines. That I am not being responsible for my life. My well-wisher would even call it an excuse to avoid things I don’t like.
Social compromise and migraine
Can I ask the company to lower their voice because I have noise sensitivity? Can I remind them of this every few minutes since they need a gentle reminder? Can I inform them about my brain fog and my dry mouth and throat which affect my spoken ability to have a great conversation for hours?
What if they hate me for saying such things which usually people regard as nonsense? I can’t say anything about the hate part but what I have experienced in three decades is that no one likes to hear such things. These kinds of words are considered negative and the person a pessimist. What other option do I have? To compromise? To suffer?
Have others downplayed your migraine pain?