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Expecting Compromise

I am the sole soul who needs to take care of the triggers around me. I can’t ask anyone else to remember my triggers and behave accordingly. I shouldn’t expect this. Others shouldn’t have the additional task of remembering my triggers and recalling such information every time we meet in order to limit my triggers. For me, it’s a lifestyle, it’s necessary. It’s not a choice but a necessity. For them, it’s a compromise and I can’t expect compromise from their side. From the same point of view, if I compromise for their sake, enhanced suffering will come my way. What will come their way? Some discomfort... uneasiness.

Compromising for those who don't have migraine

I have compromised a lot in the first two decades of my life and it turned out to be daytime nightmares for me. I continued the compromise (to a lesser extent) for another decade. What I found out during the first three decades of my life was that what was a big deal to me wasn’t one for others. I was the one who ended up listening to the music. I had to bear the symptoms, not others. The kind of experiences I had with others, I don’t wish to compromise anymore. Why should I? I am the one who’s affected from hair to toe.

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Asking for company with migraine

If I ask for company, I am likely to feel the pressure of having a lot of man-cooked food which will affect my digestion and trigger multiple symptoms just like it did yesterday evening. Throughout the evening, I had processed food and within a few hours, I met with a flare-up. Now, I did this to myself when I was not having company. It was my input that led to the outcome in terms of a big flare-up. Something like this happened all the time when I had company in life. It was mostly due to the compromise in accompanying…

If I ask for company and let them know about my condition and the symptoms, a big discussion will ensue on health, fitness, doctors, and medicines. That I am not being responsible for my life. My well-wisher would even call it an excuse to avoid things I don’t like.

If I ask for company, I can’t leave the company as and when I need to rest or move to a more apt location for me with minimal light, sound, and especially an air-conditioned-free zone.

Social compromise and migraine

Can I ask the company to lower their voice because I have noise sensitivity? Can I remind them of this every few minutes since they need a gentle reminder? Can I inform them about my brain fog and my dry mouth and throat which affect my spoken ability to have a great conversation for hours?

What if they hate me for saying such things which usually people regard as nonsense? I can’t say anything about the hate part but what I have experienced in three decades is that no one likes to hear such things. These kinds of words are considered negative and the person a pessimist. What other option do I have? To compromise? To suffer?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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