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To The Left

Pins and needles on fire, jabbing into my left arm and leg. This is what pain truly feels like.

I reposition, but it’s getting worse now. Something must be wrong. I try to lift my left arm to move over, and it just flops like a fish out of water. I’ve lost control of it.

Something must be wrong. I feel confused, and don’t recognize the person next to me. I don’t know what day it is or what year it is. I start to cry. I text my friend, “something must be wrong.”

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My head starts to pound. Pressure, tightness, and throbbing. I get up to walk to the mirror and realize my left leg won’t move. “I think I’m having a stroke,” I text my friend.

I look in the mirror and find my left eye droopy. F.A.S.T. I remember the acronym, but I’m too scared to go to the hospital. So, I wait, and the symptoms just get worse.

My friend calls me and asks me what is going on. I know what I want to say but all that comes out of my mouth are grunts and sounds I don’t recognize. Why can’t I speak? I’m scared, so scared. This isn’t me. This isn’t my brain.

Later I found out it was a hemiplegic migraine. I get them often now, every few days. I don’t get as scared anymore.

My bravery has increased. I recognize that this is my new normal brain, and I just must adapt to how it has changed. My hemiplegic migraine has changed me into a stronger, more resilient human who can overcome challenges that once seemed impossible.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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