Better at Writing

By hitesh-goenka

2 min read

I have been told that my written communication is way better than spoken. I wonder why it will be any different for someone like me.

Trouble speaking with migraine

I can take time in writing and make changes wherever and whenever needed. During a conversation, I can't make changes and take a lot of time to understand things, process them and then speak. I hate small talk and many other kinds of talk just because I can't do it. That's why I limit myself to important discussions which are essential for some tasks.

I have been told several times that I speak without thinking. These people are correct. I need my own time and space to be able to come up with an answer. Since I don't expect the other person to wait for a few minutes or hours or days to get a reply, I need to reply to whatever comes to my mind. No wonder I am horrible at group discussions and personal interviews. I never did well. I always struggled. I still do. It does not make sense for me to be judged this way where I will fail no matter what.

Getting better with personal interviews

I became better at least in personal interviews by keeping a note of the several questions asked in interviews and having ready-made answers to them. If asked anything outside of it, then I used to use one of the ready-made answers whether it made sense or not.

Being asked what you read in today's newspaper in the personal interviews was not the only difficult part of this question. The more difficult part was to analyse and discuss it in detail. Even when I used to read analyses on topics, I failed to discuss them in more than a sentence or two.

In group discussion rounds before the personal interviews, I never participated in a discussion. If I spoke, I would utter a couple of lines out of nowhere. It sounded weird. This made my peers wonder why I don’t speak up and when I do I don’t do it properly. I jotted down a few points and said them in haste. I had difficulty following others. I couldn’t keep up with the speed of the speakers.

Brain fog affects how I talk to others

Brain fog doesn’t allow me to indulge in discussions. No wonder I like to keep my interaction with society to a minimum. People get bothered by my reaction. My replies sound off the grid. What am I supposed to do? Keep bothering others with the outcome of my symptoms?

Another thing that happens is that I can’t speak any language properly. Again, brain fog is to be blamed along with a few other symptoms like dry mouth, dry throat, and several other sensations. I keep forgetting facts and figures. Finding words at my leisure (slow pace) puts the listeners off and makes them feel a weird vibe emanating from me.

Writing is better for my migraine

Why wouldn’t I be better at writing? I get time and space. I use my subconscious mind to the fullest as I am conscious mind-wise impaired.

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Rebecca C Moderator
Again - <inline-mention username="hitesh-goenka" user-id="3755282"/> - a great topic you've brought up. I enjoy reading your posts. I can relate immensely with your struggle of not tolerating or being able to participate in small talk, speaking in public, group discussion, or having 1-on-1 conversations. I just never developed the skill to interact with people. It has limited me in a few ways. And I I also write much better than I speak, especially during in the moment conversations. Writing allows me to rethink, reorganize, and regroup. I like to monitor my responses and when in the moment I tend to respond unsuitably or quickly without completely understanding the direction of a conversation. I find if I do not know how to respond, I ask a related question to get more understanding or start with a compliment. This helps me contribute to the circle of communication and shows I am intently following along. Being an introvert does not help my situation in the least bit either. Migraines have a way of separating you from the circles of friends you choose to surround yourself with and can isolate you, making it that much more difficult to keep up with or respond to directly. What I do know is that I need to work on the skills needed to join in on a conversation. I have begun to force myself out of my "migraine cave" and learn to be present, even if I do not speak or join in. I also read articles and posts that have tips and tricks to aid me in communication. Here's an article that I recently stumbled upon and has helped me - https://socialconfidencemastery.com/group-conversation/ Having migraines and brain-fog 24/7 is another deterrent. As I write this response, my husband is at his computer having a loud conversation with a coworker and discussing a project. As this goes on and on, I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and overstimulated and feel a migraine close. I get like this at least once a day. And it really deters me from being present in other peoples' company, going out with a group of friends, and/or conversing on a personal level. I believe the fatigue I have as well as brain fog have conditioned me to "exit" quickly if uncomfortable, not following along in an alert fashion, or refusal to speak, all leading to my lack of skill. My wish for you is patience, self-care, and at-leisure conversations to stimulate the skill of communication. Thank you for expressing your thoughts. Warmly Rebecca (community moderator)