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Living with Migraine

coping (or not) with people's reactions to aphasia and muscle weakness

  • By Tinytardis

    The thing that’s upsetting me most at the minute seems trivial & I totally realise that- but somehow I can handle all the crappyness that comes from migraines better than this, or maybe it’s just the final drop that makes my cup overflow
    Part of my migraine is aphasia and muscle weakness down my left side – where I end up limping around – if I can walk at all, and my co/ordination and balance suffer greatly and also my control over my facial muscles is largely diminished – it feels like my face’s melting – it looks a lil droopy but not as bad as it feels
    Because I get this quite often it doesn’t upset me overly anymore& I limp around as much as I can on my own -by sheer stubbornness more than anything else- and I’ve learned a few tricks to help with the aphasia (like slow deliberate speech with simple words etc) same as I’m sure others do – all because I want and need to get on with life as much as I can when the pain is manageable and aura has stopped
    The upsetting part is people’s reactions – I have been accused of being rude and cross and miserable – from everyone from friends to shop assistants – I’m not cross or miserable I’m just physically incapable of making a smile on occasion or being as sociable n sweet as i’d normally be because I’m experiencing the many varied effects of a migraine
    The most recent ‘character assault’ has just knocked the wind out of me & I’m so upset about it that now with this current migraine I feel like I need to hide away from everyone in case I’m misunderstood & accidentaly upset someone else or end up with everyone thinking poorly of me/ hating me – what do others do?
    Sorry that was so long – I’m so used to saying I’m fine and it’s all fine that I guess it’s just all pouring out now, big love

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  • By owieithurts

    Tinytardis,
    People just don’t understand, and don’t take the time or don’t want to take the time to understand. It’s easier and quicker to just jump to conclusions and assume the worst of you. Shame on them. You should not have feel like you need to hide away due to other peoples’ ignorance. It is their problem, not yours. Let me know if you want me to put my boots on and kick some hiney (I’m kidding of course – but I hope it made you smile).
    Take care.

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  • By Doug

    I have always tried to find the humor in whatever is bothering me, and especially in the case of migraines, I think it has helped. With my aphasia, I just let the wrong words come out of my mouth and then I laugh about it. My wife gets aphasia too, and she can’t handle it with a sense of humor. If I try to make a joke about hers, she screams at me, and it’s a big what-to-do. I recognize that aphasia is frustrating, it is for me too. I just think that recovering in a positive manner is better than recovering in a negative manner. I wish I could explain a way to do it, but it comes naturally to me. I kind of have a way of turning everything in life into a joke. Laughing about it or joking about it isn’t the perfect solution. When I talk funny at work, people still give me a funny look no matter how I recover. But I think it is the lesser of evils in the end. I would rather be perceived as happy and weird than sad and weird, especially in my particular career field.

    This is a tough road. The physical and mental pain and fatigue are brutal, and you won’t be able to cover it up all the time. Best wishes to you.

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  • By Sandy

    i too have aphasia. it was very scary at first to my husband and my co-workers. less scary to me as i just thought it was a side effect of one of my numerous meds. i am sorry when people are rude and assuming. i will b making an index card for aphasia to keep with me like an article on this website suggested. i have had friends family co-workers get impatient when i am slow bc of muscle weakness or vertigo. i have to explain possible.

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