Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer


General Discussions

Stop Telling Me To Be Optimistic.

  • By kateymac

    If one more person, one more time, says that I’m “not being very optimistic,” I may scream. Do I WANT to say “I CAN’T” all the time? Of course not!
    My boyfriend has a “well if you can do ____, that means you can do ____, habit. Where he gets these equivalencies, I don’t know – logic, I suppose. Logic, however, has never done me any favors with this illness. Quite the opposite.
    So anyway, when I tip-toe through an explanation of why driving twenty minutes to a 5 minute doc appointment doesn’t mean I can drive twenty minutes to go apple picking; I get “well it doesn’t seem different to me” … and “I’m just trying to be more optimistic.”
    This simply isn’t ABOUT optimism. I bet YOU HERE all see the difference between the two.
    “You could be more optimistic” feels pretty similar to “you could just try harder”… when I’m trying as hard as I can to cope with this ever-changing, complicated, life-robbing monster of an illness.
    Anyone else get the “optimism” finger pointed at you?
    HOW do you HANDLE it? I am at a loss.☹️

  • By GardensatNight

    It sounds like you have a boyfriend who is very uneducated about the realities of chronic illness. He needs to do some reading. Really sorry he isn’t being more supportive of you. Hugs.