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Where/how do you get peace and quiet???

  • By GSD

    I have no choice except to live with my parents because I cannot afford to live on my own, but my parents/family do not understand my chronic migraines. It’s the typical “it’s just a headache” attitude and they’ll get angry at me for not joining dinner when company comes over and that I won’t even go downstairs to say hello when someone comes over. They don’t seem to understand that most times I just want to blow my brains out. Since I don’t own a gun, I contemplate swallowing every damn pain medication I have. Seems like death is the only way I will finally be free.
    There is no escape. As I said, I cannot afford to live on my own. Frustrates me even more because I don’t even say anything to them when my head is killing me. I only tell them that I have a migraine when they start hounding me and then they get pissed off at me for having a migraine (back to that, “it’s just a headache”). They think I’m using it as an excuse – like I enjoy being cooped up within the walls of my bedroom.
    How do you get peace and quiet when you live with other people? So far this is a very rainy/humid summer and even with Botox and trigger point injections, along with pain meds, I cannot seem to catch a break. Maybe I need a mental institution? I’m seriously at the end of my rope.

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  • By Ellen Schnakenberg

    hyealice – I am so very sorry you’re having to go through this. Living with people who don’t understand is really tough. I lived many years with my hubs and he thought I was being lazy. I took him to my Dr appts and eventually he saw how concerned the docs were and began to understand what was going on was not anything I had any control over.

    Are you seeing a Migraine specialist yet hyealice? Here is a link for you: https://migraine.com/blog/looking-for-a-migraine-specialist/

    Finally, I always encourage those I know who are living through chronic illness to find a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist that can help them with strategies for living with these issues. It’s not easy when the family is on your side, let alone when they don’t understand you. Additionally, depression and Migraine are often comorbid conditions. This makes living with Migraine even more difficult. Sometimes it’s really true, that two heads are better than one, especially when one of them isn’t Migraining and has new ideas on strategies for living with a chronic disease.

    Please seek some help for your feelings. There is help and there are people who understand you. Here is a post that might be helpful if you are in a crisis: https://migraine.com/blog/migraine-crisis-help/

    Please write back and let us know how you’re doing…

    ~Ellen

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  • By GSD

    Thanks, Ellen!
    It’s more than even trying to get them to understand – how do you tell people to basically “shut up” and that they can’t make any noise (t.v., vacuum, mixers, etc.)? It’s horrible. I can’t expect people to stop living their life because I have a migraine.
    I do have a headache specialist (neurologist/DO). He does Botox and trigger point injections – alternates the Botox 8 weeks after tpi and tpi’s 6 weeks after Botox. These have helped tremendously from the severity and frequency I used to get migraines, but I still get breakthrough migraines a couple of times a month.
    Matters have gotten worse because I had to quit my job because I couldn’t tolerate the noise level and unemployment has denied my benefits because my doctor didn’t tell me to quit so it doesn’t matter that I quit due to a medical condition, it only would have mattered if my doctor literally told me to quit. I can’t find another job, especially being limited to the environment it’s in since I can’t tolerate noise and then there’s the problem of calling in sick due to a migraine.
    Life is just spiraling down the tubes and there’s no way of getting out of this cycle. lol – makes me envious of prisoners who have solitary confinement!
    Thanks for listening!

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  • By merrie

    Hi just wanted to say sorry you are going through this. I live with my husband and mother in law and brother in law and two pets. So I totally get that it can be hard to find a quiet place. I usually just go in my room draw the blinds and luckily I do have a fairly quiet family.when I am at work and need to leave I get in my car and drive it just far enough so I am not in the middle of chaos and put the seat back. That is the best place for me when away from home. I am sorry you are felling so helpless. I am feeling g Pretty blue myself these days. Struggling with constant migraines sucks. Seems like yours are getting better anyway so that’s something. I agree maybe a counselor could help you, if only for there sympathetic ear. Best wishes,
    Merrie

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  • By AmyBabee

    I just wish there are other ways we could help each other than this forum. Physically giving a listening ear, a hug, a touch and sympathetic looks goes a long way to help. I know from my own experience. When your family do not understand and you have someone close by who feels and knows what you’re going thru and cries with you goes a long way. Reading support/sympathy on the computer or helps but its not like physical presence.If only we could meet each other ‘geographically’ at a selected spot to encourage and support, advice and listen 🙁 I feel so bad for what some of us are going thru; we simply read it and after shut down the computer and go our separate ways to suffer in our private, silent and pain ridden world …it doesn’t feel right at all. I don’t know…. pls call me to order if I spoke/wrote out of turn.

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  • By Ellen Schnakenberg

    Amy2013 – The AHMA is sponsoring the VERY FIRST patient conference in Scottsdale in November. Not only do you get to meet patients and us advocates, but also some of the most brilliant doctors and researchers in the field of Migraine and headache medicine. You should think about joining us! http://www.ahmablog.com/

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