4 Things I Want You to Know, Friend Without Migraine

I wrote this for a collective “You,” for the non-migraineur loved ones who might not understand certain things about my illness.

Dear You,

I know you are trying to be the best buddy you can be to me. I know that you realize I have a neurological disease that I would cure myself of if it were possible. I know you’d stand in line for days if you could be the one to get that cure for me

But despite your deep love for me and your wanting me to feel well, I can tell you don’t quite get it. So here are a few things that I just want to let you know.

Number 1

When I wear earplugs in the movie theatre because the previews are so loud they hurt my ears, I really am wary of the sound triggering a migraine. I do not put the neon plugs in to draw attention to myself or to make you ask, “Are you okay?” I am just trying ot quietly protect myself.

Number 2

The same goes for when we go into a store and there are plentiful fluorescent lights. I do not don my ridiculously huge sunglasses in order to draw attention to myself. I do not think I am a rock star. I merely want to get in and out of there without triggering a migraine.

Number 3

The rules change from time to time. One night I may be able to stay up late, have some wine, and wake up feeling fine. Other times I do that just once and I’m knocked on my a** for days with a migraine. I do not pick and choose when these times are. I am not misleading you or trying to be inconsistent. It’s just the nature of the disease.

Number 4

Finally, I do not yawn because I am bored, and often I do not yawn because I am sleepy. I yawn when an attack is starting, and sometimes too during and after the pain stage of my migraine episode. I am trying not to make it obvious, but I just can’t help it. I really don’t want to offend you.

Much love,

She who wishes you could really understand

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