Does your emotions trigger Migraine? I am scared.!

I am 27. I have migraine for 13years, yup since my teenage years. Unfortunately there was not much awareness about Migraine so people always cross it as severe headache with nausea. so even i neglected many symptoms beacuse people might think i am over exaggerating.

I was on medication and there was no particular improvement and the only thing i could do is to note my trigger and stay away from it as much as possible. I get triggered by strong smell, Flickering bright lights, Coffee and sudden emotions. Its like if i am shocked or surprised or angry etc and during these time i feel kinda dizzy not for long time and its like my eye sight suddenly increased and nausea and the pain is like someone inserted a nail in my head. and the worst part about it is i cant remember certain thing during or before or after. i remember in general like what happened but something is missing and i cant recall no matter what. its hard to put in words its like i can remember we argued or i was angry but i cant remember what we talked and sometimes i cant remember why we argued. And everyone around me knows not to throw any surprises. its sad but i really cant deal with after effects.
Is it like this to everyone? I just feel like am i not allowed to feel things? Its suffocating, but its impossible not to get startled or angry or sad or shock or surprise. What am i suppose to do? i am a human dammit.! its been like this since years i just put up with it. but there are times when i feel like i am on the edge. I get depressed and anxiuos.

I neglected my medication as i was unable to see any improvements.
That was the biggest mistake i ever did. My migraine frequency has increased and i am having vision disturances for longer times than usual now i dont have any idea what triggered.

I am planning to visit a doctor. it may take sometime to find one. I would like to explain that past 5 years i was in france and it was really hard to communicate with doctor as they dont speak english much. and now i am in japan for my PhD and its really hard to find doctor who is fluent in english. i am scared beacuse its hindering my daily life, my work and the pain ( Its so bad sometimes that i hit my head repeatedly and it just makes it worse later but i just want it to stop). Apart from this i am terrified about my memory loss.
I love my research and work, i just want to live normally, working and living without being scared and on lookout for what might trigger migraine. Am i gonna live like this for the rest of my life?