Not Just Pain
When I say I am in pain, it’s not just pain, but a culmination of various sensations. If it were just pain, it wouldn’t have bothered me this much in limiting my ability to do anything.
Pain reminds me of something acute that recently happened in my shoulders. More so for my right shoulder during the fortnight my nieces were at my place. They were 4 years old and I used to lift them up from the chair a few times a day. This led to pain in my shoulder region. The pain stayed throughout the time I lifted my nieces. It was further augmented when I lifted 3 suitcases from the car to the trolley at the airport. This kind of pain can be ignored and worked around. But not the pain that I get from migraines. I have tried ignoring them. When I get occupied with something, I may not be bothered by the pain to that extent but still, it interferes with whatever I do. I am able to ignore the shoulder pain easily but the other types of pain eat me alive.
My mother’s case is the same. Her pain also eats her alive. No wonder she has resorted to using painkillers for the last 3 years. I keep telling her not to. But she says, "You can go to your migraine cave and rest whenever you feel like. I can’t. I have to fulfill my marital duties". These words make me glad to have been a bachelor till now. I don’t know how I would tolerate anything above what life has thrown at me till now. As if two dozen symptoms are not enough. I need more drama in life on top of that neuro thing I have.
(I wrote this during the month of June 2023.)
- this comparative narrative rings true for me, as well. I can certainly attest to the migraine experience going way beyond just pain. True, migraine disease is a "culmination of various sensations" that rocks the very foundation you stand on. It materializes one day, early in life, or later on, as prolonged suffering that never goes away, always creeping in the background, poking at the tender parts, snagging us when our system is overloaded or overburdened, and wreaking havoc on the nervous system. It is not just the feeling of pulling a muscle or overworking your hands after doing tasks. Migraine is an indisputable monster to tend with, one that wants to get acquainted and take our sanity much more than we wish it to, and tends to stick around more than we care for it to. I thoroughly understand the struggle. I hope that you are currently managing this neurologic aberration better than it is managing you. Thanks for this! Warmly - Rebecca (community moderator) 
I wanted to respond to this post because it rang so true for me. And, so many people don’t have any clue what migraine really is. It’s not only the pain, which can be horrific, but, it’s also (for me) the inability to speak clearly. I never, ever stuttered in my life, before I started getting migraines. Yet, that’s one of my symptoms. Along with significant discoordination stumbling, falling, etc. I don’t think well, & act somewhat erratically, am unreasonably agitated not thinking & that’s actually a prodromal symptom, something that happens before get pain or other signs of the migraine, nausea, etc. And, these symptoms can materialise out of nowhere, for no particular reason that I can tell, or they can be triggered by a certain smell. It can go from zero to 80 in seconds. Which is why I don’t drive anymore. I honestly don’t trust myself behind the wheel when that can happen at any time. It’s not safe. Which means I’m dependent on my husband or others to give me rides everywhere. If they can. I live in the country, so very little public transportation. So, if I can’t get a ride for whatever reason, I’m stuck.Can’t begin to tell you how this affects my self esteem. Being reduced to a childlike status. I think I’ll stop writing now, because it’s getting me too depressed. But, I just want you to know. I understand. You are absolutely right, it’s much, much more than just pain. I hope that, since it’s been a few months since you wrote, you’ve found some treatments that have helped you. And your dear mother as well. Best wishes for a Happy migraine free new year! Sincerely, Ruth 💐
India. Yes, public transport is not an issue, always available. You have an advantage over me in this regard. I’m in California, USA, but, in the Sierra Nevada foothills, about an hour away from Yosemite National Park. It’s lovely here, but there’s very little public transportation.
