Really?
Most of my family gatherings are outside because heat always triggers my migraines. It seems like I have one every time I see my family. I don't announce it, but my husband does when someone asks me why I am sitting, or not doing this or that. On Friday evening my brother and sister-in-law were grilling hot dogs to celebrate the last day of school (for many of our kids). When someone asked my why I wasn't participating in the shaving cream war (family tradition on the last day of school), my husband told this person I had a migraine. This person, who has known me for 10 years, asked, "Have you thought about going to the doctor for this?" I just about came unglued. I have been through 11 neurologists in the past 8 years and I have tried everything to lessen the frequency and severity of my migraines. Not to mention, I am a healthcare professional myself. I have missed, or suffered through, so many important events in my life because of this disorder. I felt like this person was insinuating that I use migraines as an excuse to get out of things. I wish some of these people could spend a few days in my body and experience a migraine. They couldn't even begin to endure it, and keep going, during the migraine if at all possible.
Feeling misunderstood or judged can be incredibly isolating, especially when you're already dealing with the physical and emotional burden of chronic migraines. It's understandable that you felt hurt, angry, and invalidated by the suggestion that you use migraines as an excuse. Unfortunately, some people may not fully grasp the debilitating nature of migraines unless they've experienced them firsthand, as you mention. You've been through so much trying to manage the pain and debility of migraine disease. You shouldn't have to go through the judgment and incomprehension by them as well - it very well puts the cream atop the cake. How did you manage to not come unglued? Just asking for a friend. 😉 Thanks for being honest and for sharing this short narrative in your very long journey through pain and debility. We hear you. We understand. How can we support you? With regards, Rebecca (team member)
