Waste of an Education

Throughout my academic life, I was told to score high on all the tests at school and college. That only good grades can get you a good job (meaning a very high salary that has the power to make my neighbours cry with jealousy). Nothing else matters in life, I definitely don’t.

Migraine brain fog and school

This understanding (or should I say brainwashing) made me study all the time when I was in school till the age of 18. Then, in college for engineering, I couldn’t cope with the rise in difficulty level. Still, I studied much more than my other classmates except for a guy who clearly had nothing better to do in life. I struggled a lot during my MBA days and somehow passed all six trimesters.

I couldn’t do anything on my own, courtesy of brain fog. I failed at anything that required the implementation of concepts. This left me with the only option to memorize everything. That’s how I spent my academic life. Silly, huh?

Being judged for struggling in school due to brain fog

Now coming to the meat of the essay. Every time I scored low on tests, fingers raised at me, judging me for my behaviour. I was compared to all kinds of people. The funny thing is that I don’t know if they were fictitious or real. I was made to feel bad about my existence. Whenever I did something an elder didn’t like, I received a lecture. The one I remember clearly was, "What a waste of an education! Education marred with dust. Money went down the drain".

Later, when I went for a couple of jobs and didn’t earn well, I was judged again. I was compared to people who might have been a figment of their imagination. How can one so easily compare me to someone real in the blink of an eye? This requires either talent or years of hard work.

Coping with school struggles and brain fog

Again, the same old same old "waste of an education" surfaced sometimes. "Even after engineering and an MBA, how can you earn so little? This is disgraceful".

I wonder how it mattered to people who weren’t interested in my 2 dozen symptoms, which were the cause of me getting rejected in most of the interviews at MBA college and that these symptoms made sure I couldn’t perform any of the tasks efficiently at the office. Forget about competing with others. My symptoms never allowed me to do so. I was never capable of competing with most of my peers. Still, I did. I tried. I failed. It was a nice experience though. At least, I had something to do.

My brain fog is low now. Let me try writing a poem.

Waste Of An Education

Waste of an education,
Waste of a life,
When will you get
Some children and wives?

Where are the grades
I told you to get?
Money doesn’t grow on trees
That you flushed down the drain.

Can’t get a job
Where the money flows.
What good are you
If you stay this low?

Shame on you,
Shame on your mother
Who brainwashed you
Into becoming sick like none other.

These lines summarise this essay succinctly.