From a male perspective

From a male perspective

I have been part of the Migraine.com community for better than a year and have used this site as a place to read articles about people who have/are experiencing similar migraine conditions as I am, especially when I’m down in the dumps from such a hard day dealing with the “Disease.” I’m a 49 year old male, yes that’s right, a male, who has been suffering with chronic migraines for the past 7 years. Before that, I was healthy, active father who was in involved with his children and all of their activities and also found time daily to run 5-7 miles daily. Life was good. Relationship with my wife was great, my children enjoyed dad being around and then “POW.”

It began with pains in my feet and minor headaches. My doctors choose to deal with the easiest fix. Eventually after planter facaitis surgery in both feet, a torn MCL in my left knee and a hernia surgery (yes, my body has failed me over theses past 9 years. Recently had a electrical impulse implant placed in my lower back to help control the pain that could not be explained), my headaches went from a minor nuance to a daily pain with extreme side effects; extreme sensitivity to light, nausea, sensitivity to all smells, sensitivity to sounds and extreme tiredness. I went from a “workaholic” to an employee who could not stay awake the entire day. I had become a liability to the company and had to resign, my decision.


With that decision, came often remarks from people about how I, look okay to work, he doesn’t seem sick, all the comments we all have heard. The worst of them all, come from my immediate family whose has become extremely tired if me saying I have a migraine and can’t do something with them. It has become so common, that they do not even ask me anymore. I don’t blame them for their feelings, I know I have become extremely tired of saying it.
I think I have vented enough for my first article. But remember out there are men who are dealing with the same condition(s) you are, but just not as many. Stay strong, and remember to always take your medicine.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (10)
  • Sean
    2 years ago

    Hi rjboyle, there are more of us than you think, I’m a 56 yr. old male and was finally diagnosed 10 yrs. ago after going to a migraine specialist and so glad I did since my gp Dr. didn’t think I was having migraines. Am sorry to hear especially about the response from those closest to you your family, maybe you need to show them this site to give them a better idea of what you’re dealing with, common misconception that only women have them and there are times I wish mother nature gave us visual signs that show on our bodies for not only migraines but many other types of pain that are internal. I’ve had pain so bad it’s made me cry, nausea which just takes the pain off the chart, am left drained of energy especially after the full blown ones that can take hours to get rid of, have had them go away only to return a few hrs. later or just day after day after day. I take rizatriptan with ice packs and for me with strong coffee as well, also take amitriptyline as a preventive, try keeping a diary of your days to help you to hopefully identify triggers so you can avoid them if possible. After being diagnosed I began to recall episodes from my past and realized I’d been suffering from them all my life but they weren’t as constant at all so dismissed them as just really bad headaches. Anyway, you’re not alone and this is a really good site to help you.

  • Maud
    2 years ago

    Shout out to everyone posting here – hopefully not having a migraine today…

    I’ve given up telling family I have a migraine, can’t count the times I’ve been attempting conversation and feeling like someone was slicing through my brain with an axe.

    Question I like the best from people – ‘What? has that not subsided yet?’ – errrr nope, afraid that debilitating inconvenience is still here thanks….

    Sending strength to all 🙂

  • jp18
    2 years ago

    59 year old male here. I totally understand your story since migraines have cost me my job and my marriage. I have suffered for 10 years straight now. When you tell a pain doctor if you can just get the pain down to a 5 I would be elated it is bad.

    Keep fighting this, our day will come. You have my support.

  • Jim
    2 years ago

    rjboyle,

    47 year old male here with chronic migraine. I know your pain all to well and if you need to talk I’m there. Find me on FB @ James Bryant shoot me a friend request mentioning this page and story.

    People have very little understanding of what we go through with regard to this disease and it’s impact on our lives. How it makes us feel to be beaten down because of it and how tired it can make you.

    Keep working and searching to find the things that help you not just survive but thrive despite this disease. as men we always want to fix things that are broken, but with migraine there is no easy fix. The best we can do right now is to advocate for more research into migraine and it’s causes. If you remember the ice bucket challenge everyone was doing then you might have heard that directly because of the money raised from that they have made a profound breakthrough in the cause of that disease. We can hope that someday we will have that same breakthrough for us.

    Again I’m here if you need me.

    Jim

  • mliss s
    2 years ago

    Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me to have a fuller picture of who chronic migraine affects. And, yes, sometimes I do kind of forget that men suffer as well. So I appreciate you sharing.

  • rosie.smiles
    2 years ago

    Hello rjboyle,

    I wanted to comment on your story because my heart goes out to you. I suffered from chronic intractable migraine, so I definitely sympathize. Migraine was my life and although I had good family and church support, it seems there’s always people who misunderstand and misjudge. I think migraine is one of those things where you don’t get it until you get it. I am a young female adult and not a parent so I can’t say that I’m in the same circumstances as you, but I wanted to mention a couple of things. For one, you are not alone. My dad suffered from bad migraines (guess where I got them from!). I know various females that have had occasional migraines, but the people that I know that have/had the worst migraines are men. The other thing I wanted to say was about migraine surgery. Migraines surgery totally changed my life. I had migraine surgery last year and I am 100% migraine free now. I don’t want to be pushy and know that it may not be a good option for everyone, but I also know that not everyone out there has even heard about this option (my neurologist didn’t even know about it), so I wanted to tell you in case it would be a help. I’m very happy to answer questions or provide more information, so please ask if you want to know more.

    Take care,
    Rosie.smiles 🙂

  • John1381
    2 years ago

    Hello rjboyle,

    I am also a 49 year old male with chronic migraine. Your story resonates with me. I also use this website when upset with struggling with migraine. I don’t post much as a bit anxious but find the site and the supportive nature of the moderators and posters really helpful.

    I totally understand that even saying the word migraine to family and friends can cause all sorts of reactions. But it’s a disease and not your fault.

    Keep going.

    John.

  • Luna
    2 years ago

    It was really a surprise when I realized that I am aware of at least 11 men that have migraine. 2 uncles, 2 cousins, brother-in-law, nephew-in-law, doctor, 4 friends.

    It takes courage and fortitude to carry on.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi rjboyle! Thanks so much for sharing your story. We do have a few gentleman in the community, so it’s awesome that you brought some of that energy to the fore.

    We look forward to your next story! Thanks for being part of the community, were glad you’re here! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • rjboyle author
    2 years ago

    Thanks, Donna

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