I'm a HM sufferer Get Me Out Of Here!
Have you ever watched one of those TV shows where contestants have to be starved in the jungle and in order to win their daily food they are forced to eat a worm or the anus of a kangaroo?
I have given up watching these shows, they only serve to make me angry.
I sit fuming at the television muttering expletives and shouting things like "yeah alright buddy, try going blind and losing your capacity for speech and being paralyzed down one side for goodness knows how long. Try having your brain split open with an axe and throwing up bile for 24 hours straight, then we can talk about the true meaning of surviving".
I sometimes think they should make a show about me if they want to see what it is like to survive in the wild. My hemiplegic migraine causes me to forget words; which I am unable to speak anyway due to paralysis during an attack.
Brocca's aphasia means that I also cannot recognize everyday objects and their usage, so I have often managed with the help of angels to get home and found myself unable to recognize how to use my front door key and just slumped outside the front door in the snow until someone walked past and let me in.
The kindness of strangers is not to be underestimated and has saved my life more than once.
The fact is when you are stripped of your ability to communicate and recognize the world around you, you are in the wilderness, alone and using what is left of your addled wits to survive.
But lets face it, a TV show of a HM attack in full swing would be dull viewing indeed. The suffering and after effects are internal and without the power to verbally communicate it would be impossible for anyone outside of this condition to understand.
I do believe with every ounce of my being that whilst we migraine sufferers of every type and variant are physically able to speak, that we tell people what we go through and survive. To spread awareness and to remind ourselves that despite the trials and tribulations we have made it through another day and celebrate our success.
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