30 Years of Pain & Anxiety

I had always wondered why my migraines suddenly began soon after I got married in my late 20's, early 30's. I never had any issues before that time with headaches. At first, I thought, maybe I'm just getting a reaction to alcohol because these acute throbbing headaches would always hit me after an evening of having a few beers with my wife and friends. I would always have to lay down in their bedroom and try to sleep it off in the middle of our get-togethers.

Smelling cigarette smoke

Then gradually, I began getting these episodes when I smelled cigarette smoke, then when I was under stress. I finally saw my pulmonologist (I had mild asthma at the time) who diagnosed me as having migraines and gave me a sample of Imitrex. Oh my goodness! This drug was a lifesaver! I would suffer from these migraines for the first few years for days at a time until it wore off. Now, my migraines were gone within 2 hours. Unfortunately, the side effects of this triptan were kind of scary. Pounding heartbeat, numbness in the back of my head and neck, and tightness in my chest and neck. At first, it felt like symptoms of a stroke. But, it took away the worst symptom which was the throbbing pain in my head, so I dealt with the Imitrex for years.

Marriage and divorce

I was married for 12 years and was caring for my 2 small kids. As soon as I got home from work, they would consume my time until I put them both to bed. My job was stressful and I had no downtime. I enjoyed the time with my kids immensely and fought through the pain many times so I wouldn't disappoint them.

After my divorce, when my kids were 8 and 4, I had custody of them most of the time. It was wonderful and exhausting. I was involved in their school (PTA chairman), participated in school activities whenever possible, while at the same time, suffered at least 15 days a month with migraines.

Dealing with stress at work

As I become older and my job became even more stressful, my migraines increased to nearly 22 migraine days per month. Despite wanting to date, I couldn't. My social life, even though I made sure I had one, wasn't the kind of social life I could enjoy. I had to cancel dates with friends and family all too often. It was embarrassing and stressful. I was always worried about what they would think. Do they think I'm faking it to get out of meeting them? There were a few close friends and family that absolutely understood the pain I was in. But the others ... the co-workers, bosses, blind dates, etc. I don't think they understood my suffering at all.

Treatment and triptans

I've tried many meds over the years. Beta-blockers that made me tired, anti-convulsants which I almost immediately stopped taking because they made me "dopey". I finally found Relpax, which although a triptan, it doesn't have the nasty side effects that the others had. The only side effect was tiredness. My neurologist also recommended I take Nurtec. I've found it only works about 40-50% of the time if taken as needed.

Trying Botox

I am now 60 years old and I finally started getting Botox treatments. I began a year ago and after my 3rd treatment, it really began to work. I was down from 22 migraine days to 6 per month. Then Covid-19 hit and I was laid off from my job. Fortunately, I was able to secure another job within 2 days but with that came new medical insurance. I had to start from scratch to try to get the Botox approved again and it took 6 months of "playing the insurance game"! That's 6 months without Botox...so my migraines were in full force again. It was horrible! A brand job and migraines almost every day. Not a good combination for success.

The new insurance company finally approved Botox and I am now looking forward to my 2nd treatment next week. My neurologists told me they usually begin working well after your 3rd treatment.

The reality of life with migraine

All in all, I can honestly say that migraines have truly made my life miserable. Don't get me wrong, I've had wonderful things happen in my life that I've enjoyed, but I know my life would have been so different without migraines. I know I would have had a totally different career and I would probably have owned my own business by now. I probably would have remarried many years ago as well. I purposely didn't date all these years because it was embarrassing if I had to cancel all the time. Not to mention I felt like crap almost every day. If I didn't have a migraine, then I was recuperating from one I had the day before.

Hope for the future

I still have high hopes that one day I will be migraine-free. I honestly don't remember what it feels like to be pain-free. But with all the research and new medications in the works, my new pain-free life is just around the corner. God willing, I'll see you all there!