I Say Yes to Changes and Also No

Any change in the external environment affects my condition to some extent. If the change is drastic, I see a flare-up in multiple symptoms. This sounds funny to me since I love variety in life. Variety means a change, right? And change is what makes me less sane. This is what I call dire straits. I love change but then my nervous system does not.

The idea for this essay struck me all of a sudden. Half an hour ago at 11.30 pm, I was feeling miserable — unable to sleep, unable to do anything else. As if I was stuck in time and unable to get out of some kind of loop. I needed a shave which was scheduled for the morning the next day. I decided to finish it beforehand.

Time for a shave and shower

Every time I shave, I do it before taking a shower. That’s what I did. Shave, shower, and then felt like putting on another set of washed clothes. And guess what! The changes, in terms of activities, helped me somehow and I felt way better than before.

I have always found showers relaxing, kind of therapeutic in nature. Maybe, it’s hydrotherapy or some kind of naturopathy where water is involved. It soothes my system and calms me down.

After the shave and the shower, instead of binging on junk food (which I was about to do at 11.30 pm), I traded it for a tall Starbucks cup of Americano which I made at home using Kenya grounded coffee beans and hot water in a French Press machine. And now, here I am writing this essay.

Routine changes help with migraine

I just gave an immediate, most recent example of how a change affected me for good. But then, there are lots of changes that affect me for worse. Some trigger a symptom(s) or inflate a symptom(s). Altitude, weather, temperature, lights, sound, physical activity, alertness level (and duration), diet, and movement of the head are the changes which commonly affect me. Any of these elements can make life unbearable and air unbreathable for me.

But my nature demands variety. I love variety. I seek variety. Hence, I end up suffering which I feel is okay sometimes and I can’t help indulging in a lot of things. I see that I am unable to lead a restricted life all the time. I let go sometimes. I don’t regret it because I asked for it. It’s a trade-off similar to people giving up their independence when they get married (in the hope that a partner for life is worth it.) Now, you tell me whether I am correct in saying so. It may sound like a marriage joke but it’s a reality for many married souls out there. Right?

Showers help with my brain fog

Since the shower, I see that my brain fog has reduced a bit, maybe by a few levels. (Here, I should mention this before you get some idea of a certain activity doing a certain thing to me. It’s not that a shower always leads to me feeling this amazing all the time and my brain fog going down and my ending up doing more than I usually can.) Lesser brain fog is helping me to write this much. I am able to think and write. With brain fog affecting me most of the time, I end up hardly doing any writing on paper. Since I understand my limitation, I don’t fret over it and try to write. If not write, then read. If not read, then marketing for my published books. If not marketing, then personal or household chores. If nothing, then eat processed food and watch movies and web series. There is no paucity of the number of activities in life.

Migraine limits my everyday routine

This inability to do many activities most of the time makes me read several books at a time. The count is usually in double digits. If I can’t make sense of a book now, I move away from it after a moment and hop on to another one. I do the same for writing. Now, you know the reason why I work on several projects at a time for which I keep several notebooks. Currently, I am working on three novels and two poetry collections.

If all this seems too much to take in and digest, please remember what I try to do all day long — keep working alongside my limitations to do as much as possible instead of fighting with them and ending up doing very little in a day’s time. This has become my lifestyle which would obviously change once I have zero symptoms permanently.
I recall reading somewhere — change is the only constant. This makes sense. You can’t fight it. It is and always will be. That’s life.

Now, I feel my brain fog intensifying slowly. Change! Now, I can either laugh at it and move on to some other activity and then to another or whine about it and feel horrible and weighed down by it which will mean that I feel insecure about the outcome of this symptom. I don’t want to feel so. I don’t want to add to the things that neuro thing I have makes me feel.

I have to stop now as I am unable to think and write which means I am not as clever as I was until a few minutes ago. I have become more conscious mind-wise impaired. And guess what — I am okay with this. Because if I am not, I should rather stop breathing.

The benefits of Shivambu therapy

I applied Shivambu on my body and I am back again. Oh là là! The urge to write, the urge to ride the wave, the urge to do things in life. My lethargy symptom increased earlier and I had to stop writing. I wondered if I should go to sleep and try to sleep. Then, I dismissed the thought. I wasn’t done writing even when multiple symptoms didn’t allow me to do so. I drank and applied Shivambu and now I am standing near the ceiling fan to let it dry and writing and feeling like a newborn, ready to rock and roll.

This Shivambu therapy is also a change for me. This is the most welcome change ever in my life. It’s always good for me. I see only positive results from it each time even if it’s a minute one. The effect is minute usually during a flare-up when multiple symptoms are at a high level. Otherwise, why will I apply it to my body like a lotion about six times a day like I have been doing for more than a month now? It’s June 23, 2022, and I am declaring myself a proud migraineur and a proud Shivambu utilizer. Yes, utilizer seems like an apt term as I utilize it to the fullest.

All right, the shaving I did at 11:30 pm earlier tonight was one where I used Shivambu, not a shaving cream. It was smooth and nice. A clean shave! The skin is softer than what it feels with shaving cream. Also, I don’t feel the afterburn of the razor blade.

I don’t wish to tell you that you should drop everything you are doing at this hour apart from reading this and instead utilize Shivambu in different manners and then write to me, telling me how much it helped you with a variety of sensations in your mind and body. I am not going to tell you what to do. Your life, your call. I can only share my experiences. I gain from it and I wish that people who suffer should gain too. This is not for everyone but for the souls who wish their suffering to lessen and for those who would like to feel way better than whatever they are feeling now.

Okay, I am going to write a different essay now.

Please note: I wrote this a year ago during the summer of 2022.