Man and woman laying in bed. Man is reaching gently for woman who is turning away with a pained look on her face.

Migraine and Sex: It's Complicated

Well, I guess I will say it plainly: migraine has impacted my sex life in irreparable ways. That is a heavy statement, but so is living with migraine disease. While migraine overtly impacts so many areas of my life, from my jobs to my diet, it also has a stark impact on some of the more intimate and hidden parts of my life, presenting difficult challenges to navigate in my long-term relationship of seven years, as well as causing trouble in my sex life.

The relationship between sex and migraine

The relationship between migraine disease and sex varies from person to person. While some folks experience migraine and tension relief from sex, others can be triggered or have their symptoms worsened. The experience of migraine during sex, whether it causes relief and alleviates some pain or is worsened, can cause uncomfortable and difficult conversations to arise. Plus, who wants migraine to be at the forefront of their mind during intimate moments with a partner? Navigating conversations about intimacy and migraine can be complicated and, if not handled with care and compassion, can also lead to damaging misunderstandings.

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Touch sensitivity impacts physical affection

Many in the community experience heightened sensitivity to touch during a migraine, and this sensitivity, if not communicated to those around us, can leave us vulnerable to well-intentioned affection that may actually cause us pain. What's worse, sometimes, when those around us learn we are in pain, they want to offer physical warmth or affection because, in many ways, people have been conditioned to provide that kind of support when someone is in pain. For folks living with migraine, however, a hug and squeeze of the hand could cause us to feel even worse.

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For me, feeling tingling pain during a migraine makes it so that I do not want to be touched at all - my partner knows this and is very respectful of my pain boundaries. However, I can still see the pain when I know they want to be close but can't, and I feel the loss of wanting to be held and taken care of when I am in pain but not wanting to be touched at the same time.

Openly communicating pain and intimacy

One of the things I learned over time that was important to my relationship was communicating clearly and honestly with my partner about my pain so that they did not feel as though they were doing anything wrong or that I didn't want to be close to them when I did. Communication can be key to ensuring that those around us don't feel invalidated or unwanted when migraine keeps us distant.

The fear of triggers impacts sexual activity

When I say migraine has impacted my sex life in irreparable ways, I mean in regards to fear. For me, sex can trigger and worsen migraine symptoms. Because of this, I've associated the potential for migraine pain with sex, and I find myself afraid of engaging with my partner because I don't want to possibly get sick, even if I want to be close to them. This complicated relationship with fear and sex has caused a lot of pain and discomfort for myself and my partner.

Even more complicated is that sex has also been shown to alleviate migraine pain for me on occasion. I never know how I will feel and how my body will react, and this has caused me to approach the subject with great caution. The psychological impact that this fear has had, and the care with which both myself and my partner have to engage with one another in general, but especially during or around the subject of sex, has been huge and difficult to deal with.

Lowered sex drive with migraine

Among the complicated navigation of pain, communication, and openly talking about sex and migraine with my partner, also rests the simple fact that pain due to migraine and other illnesses has led to a diminished sex drive. I find myself wanting to be in bed and left alone, with very little energy more often than not, and this makes the topic of sex rare and complex.

The topic of is different for each person living with migraine disease, and it is important to navigate and engage with the complicated considerations that come with migraine in ways that are true to us individually. For me, this has meant open communication, honest acknowledgment of how I feel, and awareness of the impact migraine has on me and others around me.

Does migraine disease impact your intimate or sex life? How do you navigate conversations with your partners about migraine and sex? Let's discuss in the comments!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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