Maintaining the Migraine Machine

My migraine (mygraine, gotta get in that portmantua) journey has been quite the complicated one, wherein I’ve never really been consistent. What started as a nagging feeling at the back, or front, of my head has now become a pivotal part of my life. I mean my younger self would have hardly believed it! It’s never been something that I’ve really understood myself. I would always push it away or continue to live my life in pain without caring about why. My teenage and preteen years were riddled with ignorance in search of fun, because being responsible and dealing with my medical issues was kind of a drag.

Feeling pain but not looking sick

I had abdominal migraines all the time. It would keep me from school and sleeping, and I had them so dang often. My mom had always cared for me, and tended to believe me, but when I showed no symptoms like fever or sweats, it was hard to convince anybody that I was really sick with something. I mean sure, my young person anxiety ran rampant, especially for this awkward dude trying to navigate middle school, but nonetheless I always had felt tummy pain.

Wishing someone had believed that I was sick

I really do wish somebody had believed me and I know I can’t really go back and try and sort of ‘retcon’ my adolescence. Trying to tell doctors, teachers, and my family in my past that it turns out, they were migraines all along, but I do find solace in knowing that I was right. Like I knew I wasn’t faking.

It’s still nice to maturely, retroactively rub it in their face a bit. Going back to those days of my own ignorance, willful or not, can make me hella uncomfortable.

I wish I had paid closer attention

Not that I blame myself for not knowing about migraine, or the types of migraines, but I do wish that I was a better operator of my machine. I am the driver and maintainer of my body machine, and I sure need to know what oil goes where and where the bumper is (I know cars), but I should really know what the emergency lights mean. I mean I can’t just slam the dashboard when a maintenance light comes on and pray I can keep driving another three weeks.

You just have to read the manual. I guess that would mean, in my analogy, like, research?

Reseraching migraine

Research is INCREDIBLY important when it comes to those hazard lights (I still know cars). The more comments I read, coming from people who are so brave, willing to share a part of their story, made me realize that I can’t just stay content with knowing that I get migraine. There’s so much to that. There are different types of migraine headaches, stomach aches, auras, hemiplegic migraines, and chronic and episodic migraines.

Keeping in touch with my neurologist

It makes my head spin (which DOESN’T HELP). I guess what I’m trying to say, is that maybe I should have more contact with my neurologist. She has always been an asset, especially with keeping me informed. No longer should I have to wait a decade to have my health backed up with facts.

How about, today?

Hey, Andrea are you free to talk? I have migraine questions. (That’s my doctor if this bit wasn’t clear)