Beating Holiday Stress

By azreynolds

3 min read

I've lived with migraines for 61 years. As many of you know, the longer you have migraines, the more frequently you have them. I started having daily migraines in the 1990s and my anger at God started. Why did I have to live in constant pain? Like many other migraineurs, I have multiple ailments, so I'm in pain constantly.

Angry because of migraine

As the migraines increased so did my anger... at everything! Angry that friends and family didn't understand. That my job expected a thousand percent from me in spite of knowing the amount of pain I lived in every day. Angry the doctors could not find a way to help me. Angry that I saw my life slipping away from me, having to spend time hidden in the dark instead of being out in the world playing music, hanging with friends, enjoying the active life that I had once lived. And my anger grew and grew.

Holiday stress just made it that much worse. Cleaning the house before guests came over used up 100% of my back energy. Them wearing perfumes (as people often do during the holidays), set off my migraines. It just seemed that there was no escaping my pain, unless I avoided humans.

Learning to embrace migraine

After losing my job in 2015 because of the migraines becoming more intense after these super strong detergents were developed, I started living in isolation. Then in 2018 I found Migraine.com and read one of Holly Harding's articles about how she embraced her migraine as a friend. How she recognized that migraines improved her life because it made her start living a healthier lifestyle. I thought she was crazy, but I started contemplating what she had written. I asked others who suffered from fibromyalgia and migraines what they thought about her article too, taking in their viewpoint also. As I contemplated, I turned to the Bible and thought about Job's situation, and I realized all that God wanted from us was gratitude for the life he had given us.

So I started trying to live a life of gratitude and thankfulness, trying hard to find a way to be thankful for my pain. But how does one do that? I found that little bitty everyday things could bring me joy if I recognized them as gifts, so I started looking for Joy Shots. I developed what I called "mindful appreciation" and found a way to find joy in just about anything if I would truly focus on that moment, person, or item.

Managing holiday stress and migraine

So this holiday season I would like to encourage y'all not to let the stress of the holidays strip you of the joy that is there in tiny little moments. A Joy Shot can be anything: watching a kid unwrap presents, decorations on the tree, the smell of hot apple cider, the taste of pecan pie, the softness of a cat's fur, or even just the crisp air and darkness of a winter night sky. Anything that makes you smile, anything that makes you laugh, or anything that makes you contemplate how blessed we are... is a Joy Shot! But it is very important to register and acknowledge the Joy Shots as they happen. If not, then they will slip right on by us without us ever recognizing they were there. Our pain will obliterate all the joy that we had experienced during our celebration.

So let's not let that happen this year. Let's find the joy! Happy holidays y'all!

Snow covered evergreen

Share my own story

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Rebecca C Moderator
<inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> - Your message is incredibly thoughtful and brings attention to the importance of finding joy in the little moments, especially during the holiday season. Amidst the busyness and potential stress, taking "Joy Shots" by appreciating small, beautiful moments can be a powerful way to enhance well-being. Some of mine were seeing both my children home for the holidays with us. Another was watching them open and appreciate the gift no matter how small. There was so much love there. Encouraging focus on positive experiences and simple pleasures can contribute to a more joyful holiday season. It's a wonderful reminder to savor the sensory delights and meaningful moments that make this time of year special. Great reminder! Wishing you the best during this season. Rebecca (community moderator)
azreynolds Member
<inline-mention username="Rebecca C" user-id="3677527"/> Thanks Rebecca. Those sound like lovely Joy Shots! But once again, I feel all the thanks go back to Holly Harding and <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>Migraine.com</a>. You know, it just occurred to me that I'd love to thank the person who came up with the idea of Migraine com!!! So thank you unknown human. You have helped change my life for the better! 😘👍 My Joy Shots has been having my hubby home more and getting to cook Christmas dinner together. (Rolled pork loin stuffed with cheese, veggies and fresh herbs, bourbon sweet potato casserole, peas and carrots, green salad, and faked fruit cake with bourbon cream topping.) 😋 Y'all have a safe Happy New Year!
1. Cody Leach Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> Joy shots is such a great term. Never heard that before! I will have to try this the next time I have a warm cup of coffee. It's one of the few things that always brings me joy and a sense of calm, no matter what I'm doing. This sounds like a great way to savor it a bit more! - Cody (Team Member)
2. Rebecca C Moderator
 Oh my WORD! That dessert sounds delightful, <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/>! Thanks for sharing this recipe. Wishing you the best this season. Rebecca (community moderator)
Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> this is such a beautiful message, thank you so much for sharing it. It really seems like your story is coming full circle in how you found hope through Holly's article so many years ago and now here you are sharing your own story that will no doubt inspire so many of our readers. I love your concept of Joy Shots too. I find it so helpful to look for little moments, which are exactly what you're describing. When you start looking for them, I believe you're training your brain to start looking for more of them! It's a beautiful glimpse of joy in a challenging situation. Thanks again for sharing! It brought a lot of joy to me today. - Alene, moderator 
1. azreynolds Member
 <inline-mention username="Alene L. Brennan, RYT" user-id="3663804"/> I completely agree that we are training our brain. And once it becomes a habit, it becomes part of us. That's why I use the Pollyanna Glad Game so much too. Because bad stuff happens all the time, but if we can stop the "why me? Why does it always happen to me?" thinking and those types of thought patterns, then we can prevent unnecessary angst and depression. I admit that sometimes my Pollyanna game is done with extreme sarcasm to start, but then on my third "glad" idea, I usually recognize that everything I'd said before was truthful and I definitely need to be glad because it could have been worse.
2. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> yes isn't that so true. We sometimes have to speak the words even before we believe them, but pretty quickly we do discover the truth in them and that starts to shape our beliefs... and our life! I've been reading a lot of books lately on mindset and this concept comes up over and over again. It's humbling and empowering at the same time. 😀 Thanks for starting this conversation, it's nice to connect about similar mindsets, especially in the context of migraine life. Best Alene, moderator
Prettymomma Member
Thank you so much for your article! You definitely know how to write how we all feel very accurately, but you didn't stop there. I loved as I continued reading about finding gratitude and Joy Shots. None of us want to live such a miserable life of pain and it hard not to be just that... miserable. We don't want to be the person that brings everyone down and feels sorry for ourselves all of the time. Though that can be hard not to do too. From the bottom of my heart I really appreciate what you said. You really helped to give me a better perspective and your Joy Shots really helps me to try to be the person that I want to be. Thank you so much! I will treat your article like a Joy Shot!😀 Take Care😀
1. azreynolds Member
 <inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> Thanks for your kind words Holly. Sorry to hear you've had a tough week too. Over here it's the barometric pressure playing the stock market. I told hubby that I wish our stocks would shoot up that high too. 30.77!! I don't think I've ever noticed it that high before. So like you, one day sick, next day ok, next day sick. Roller coaster!
2. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 Hi <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> - Happy New Year, my dear. Just checking in to see how you are faring given the barometric pressure changes. I'm continuing to have a bumpy ride over here and wondering if you are too. Thinking of you (and yes, I love our initial interview series too!). All love, Holly (migraine.com team).
azreynolds Member
<inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> Thanks for posting those video clips. I haven't seen them in awhile. I love the little artworks too. Tiny Alice in a huge cup is so precious!! One more thing I have to add about Joy Shots and Mindful Appreciation. If you use Mindful Appreciation while cleaning house, it makes the chore sooooo much more enjoyable! I have a lot of family antiques and there are knick knacks, old pottery, ornate furniture, etc. Very time consuming to dust! But when I use Mindful Appreciation, the chore of dusting becomes a pleasure. I remember my grandparents and pull up old memories like why this particular vase has a crack in it because I ran through the house one summer and knocked the table over. Or how every summer we'd swim in the Guadalupe River. Suddenly dusting is over and I've just spent an hour day dreaming about my childhood. Try it y'all! It really works!!
1. Cody Leach Community Admin
 Wow, I absolutely love this mentality <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/>. I can see how being mindful and appreciative of your belongings can make a chore feel like a true privilege. It's almost like by taking care of your environment, you're taking care of yourself. Thanks for sharing! - Cody (Team Member)
azreynolds Member
<inline-mention username="Cody Leach" user-id="4536970"/> Wow, I never thought of it that way, but yes, I agree with you! I mean when I garden I'm taking care of my environment, and caring for all my orchids is basically the same thing. So why not caring for my home environment be the same? I have always thought of cleaning as refreshing my home because I use peppermint oil, so maybe mix the two(?). Refreshing my environment!
1. azreynolds Member
 <inline-mention username="Alene L. Brennan, RYT" user-id="3663804"/> It's interesting that you said how beneficial 15 minutes of cleaning helped. <a href='https://PainTrainer.org' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>PainTrainer.org</a> actually suggests only 15-20 minutes of hardwork, then 10-15 minutes rest. And during the rest, it suggests relaxed breathing and even a short mindful meditation sessions. Now I'm not claiming I'm smart enough to follow their suggestions now days, but back when I took their course, I did. And man oh man, did it make an improvement!! Once again, it did take so much longer to get my work done, but I could work the whole day. But as habits go, I fell out of the habit. Yet I still try to hang on to taking breaks, drinking a big glass of water, and deep breathing. I sure do need to get back to the mindful meditation, but I'm out of the habit so lots of practice would be in front of me. Good idea for New Year's resolution? For those of you who have not visited <a href='https://PainTrainer.org' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>PainTrainer.org</a> it is an free online course created by the University of Melbourne to help us learn to live with our chronic pain. This can be any kind of pain: physical, mental, or emotional. Each course tackles a suggested relaxation technique like deep breathing, mindful meditation, distraction therapy, unhealthy thinking, positive thinking, etc.
2. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 Thanks for sharing such a helpful resource to us all <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/>! It sounds like it's been really beneficial for you over the years. And yes, I think we can all related to falling out of habit even with the best of techniques. What do you feel would be your first step back to mindful meditation? Oftentimes for me the most helpful step to restarting a habit is just identifying the next step and making sure that it's a simple step. Just a thought, I don't know if that resonates with you. I'm just cheering you on! Best Alene, moderator
azreynolds Member
<inline-mention username="Alene L. Brennan, RYT" user-id="3663804"/> I think for me the challenge is just remembering!! I mean, I'm supposed to be on a diet. But I don't remember I'm on a diet until I go to bed at night! LOL! Sad, but it is completely true! I have to do physical therapy every morning before I can get out of bed, but I have at least an hour and a half of physical therapy to do if I did it all at the same time (47 different ones in total). So instead of doing all of them I do batches of physical therapy, doing the 15 exercises that I have to do every morning for my current PT sessions, and then trying to do a different batch of the rest of them every day, switching arms and legs every other day, attempting to covered most of them within the week. But I forget where I'm supposed to be on my rotation! I suppose I should create an exercise calendar, but I already have 3 calendars to track, so that's more to remember. So remembering is definitely my hardest challenge. However, just being aware that I need to do mediation again will help me with trying to remember. Thanks for the encouragement!
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> - not only is it hard to remember to keep up with these tasks (diet and physical therapy) but it can be very difficult to follow through when in the throes of an active migraine attack. For many of us, movement only exacerbates the pain - and some of us feel comfort from the classic comfort foods when we are uncomfortable. Both these coupled together with someone who is living with chronic migraine make for an increased challenge to follow through with these goals. Still, they are important ones, I know. It sounds like you have the same theory with housework as you do with PT. You've learned how to break up the tasks into more manageable pieces so that you can stay on top of them and fit them in around the corners of your migraine condition. I think it's also important to give ourselves grace when we are unable to pursue a goal. I'm impressed, Annzie. You've been through so much and your resilient ability to recover from injuries, manage complex conditions, and on - is inspiring! Love how you share with us. Warmly - Holly - <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>migraine.com</a> team 
2. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="azreynolds" user-id="3677307"/> that an incredibly commitment that you have to your physical therapy exercises - consistent or not! I personally find that just having the intention of doing them is important. Living with migraine is not easy - which is obvious by the three calendars that you're currently tracking. The one thing that I found helpful with a medication that I was previously taking only on certain days, I synced it up with specific days of the week, so it was the same every week. And then I put a reminder on my phone at the time that I was supposed to take it. It was an injectable shot that I had to take so to make the reminder a little more "fun" I set my reminder as "cheers!" I know it sounds super cheesy but I didn't want the reminder to pop up as "Medicine" so even though it was clearly a very different "shot" that I was taking than you would typically "cheers" to it just made it a little lighter. This is a bit of a random story to share but I just wanted to say that I can relate to the challenge of remembering to follow our health habits some days. We have a lot on our mind - including the pain of migraine - so it's not always easy. I hope that you're giving yourself grace and giving yourself credit for your great intentions. Best Alene, moderator