Relax to Avoid a Flare-Up

I am usually in a meditative state of mind to avoid a flare-up. It’s about the necessity-versus-choice debate. For me, it’s a necessity. Why?

Focusing leads to migraine flare-ups

Whenever I focus on a task, I see a flare-up in seconds or minutes. The more focus, the more flare-ups. A few symptoms, which are always flaring up, are strange, painful sensations above my neck and tightened abdomen giving me nightmares. This is always the case.

For example, whenever I deal with numbers, I need to increase my focus. If I don’t, I will make mistakes. Since I can’t make mistakes in dealing with numbers, I have no choice but to increase my focus, and it happens involuntarily. I can’t help getting horrible sensations in multiple areas of my body. To an onlooker, these invisible sensations seem to be utter nonsense as if I wish to evade any kind of work in life. If I need an excuse for not wanting to work, I need a better one since this one doesn’t seem to work. Its effect is zero.

If I don’t increase my focus sometimes, I can’t do the task properly. It’s a huge trade-off which I am making consciously a lot in the year 2024. I usually choose to relax as any kind of flare-up impacts my ability to function properly.

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Migraine flare-ups drive me crazy

Flare-ups not only make me go crazy but also make me question if it’s worth living like this. Sometimes, I get philosophical. Things creep into my head about life and its purpose. No one can be okay to suffer like this daily. Even if my pain symptoms are low throughout the day, other symptoms don’t make the day a wonderful one. Brain fog is the thorn in the rose. It is usually high. Its impact is such that I can’t read a novel, even a simple one. Shivambu utilisation keeps lowering it occasionally, but I need it down to a zero to function properly. If it’s there, it impairs me.

Learning to listen to my body

Inflammation is another thorn which confines me to bed (mostly during the winter). I used to crawl towards the bed every time I got up. It became a game which I hated playing. There was no preventing such symptoms from affecting me. They were lethal. They left me no choice but to listen to my body. If I can’t perform any task, I lie down in bed. What other option is there? This makes bed one of my close friends. But this winter of 2023 is different. Being in a meditative state most of the time helps me with a lower incidence of inflammation compared to the last two years.

Relaxing to avoid migraine flare-ups

I am typing this on my laptop and I have a flare-up. My abdomen is hurting so much that I need to stop and maybe read something where I can focus more on my breathing and less on the writing. People may point out writers having writer’s block. But I point it out as my neuro thing.

I relax all the time to avoid a flare-up. This is my lifestyle. This means what? I can’t do any job or business. Let it be. What other option do I have? Even when I tried living a normal person’s life for 30 years, it never worked for me. I struggled a lot; I learned a lot. I failed all the time. I guess the Competition Shirt needs to wait to lay its hands on me. I will compete with people once I lose all the two dozen symptoms I have. Till then, I will remain in a meditative state as much as possible in order to breathe.

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